I am a young woman that has donned extra meat on her bones for as long as I can remember. I honestly don’t remember a moment in my life where I wasn’t overweight. I grew up before the real body loving campaigns took off, so I spent a lot of my young life ashamed of my rolls and muffin top. It never even occurred to me that the photoshopped women on scandalous Victoria’s Secret advertisements were anything but ideal, and it was these that always stood out to me as a child. It wasn’t until body positivity really became a trend that the skinny bombshell blonde ideal was confronted, a battle that has been long awaited.

Don’t be fooled. I had my continuous flow of boxes from Victoria’s Secret PINK line during high school. I felt proud that I could fit comfortably in the clothing, thinking somehow I was living up to some kind of standard. Everyone could see that the overpriced garments fit on my body, so it made me worthy of their eyes and attention. If I wore this $60 sweatshirt, I would look like the girl in the advertisement. Most of me knew that would never be true, but the ignorance was blissful while it lasted.

I knew I couldn’t continue my life hating my body and always striving for something that wasn’t even real or healthily attainable. I unfollowed all accounts that promoted a never ending feed of photos of tanned girls with flat stomachs and instead surrounded myself with images of body positivity. The amount of relief I find when looking in the mirror just because of this small change is astounding. Instead of finding the endless comparisons between my curvy body and the thin ones of other women in advertisements, I found beauty in my rolls and extra meat because I had seen so many gorgeous women with my body type. It was surprising how influential imagery was for my body image.

Knowing the disappointment I felt in my body, it’s hard to support companies who refuse to change their campaigns. Companies such as Aerie and Lane Bryant are openly confronting traditional body standards with beautiful advertisements showcasing different body types. It’s changes like these that could have saved me a lot of time I spent hating myself.

Victoria’s Secret’s PINK line is geared toward young, teenage girls. Knowing how popular this brand was, I can only imagine that many girls have the same feelings as myself. I know my lack of support means nothing to the company. But, I know that sharing my story empowers me and the changing tides of body positivity.

I will not engross myself in this never ending cycle. It isn’t healthy for someone to do so. No one should feel victim to idolized photoshopped beauties. The thought that Victoria’s Secret still is upholding these outdated beauty standards while so many other companies are embracing body diversity is disheartening.

As recently as 2014, Victoria’s Secret released “The Perfect Body” campaign, portraying the stereotypical lean, heavy busted woman and labeling it as the perfect body, showing a very real body image problem within the depths of the advertising. Young girls inevitably view these images and this absolutely is damaging to body image. How “The Perfect Body” is even a match to campaigns such as “Aerie Real” is beyond me. The over sexualization of women in the Victoria’s Secret advertising is so blatant. One can not turn in any direction without being bombarded with images of “Angels”, sporting only thin underwear and push-up bras. The times of dressing to attract a mate are over.

I can’t go on supporting and giving my money to a company who was so damaging to myself and to others. Victoria’s Secret is so behind in the times, focusing on this sexually objectified image of beauty rather than embracing the person, flaws and all. I refuse to give my time and money to a company who refuses to deny the warped beauty standards that have plagued society for so long.