Ah, spring is in the air. As you walk to your class in the sunshine, you notice a couple walking toward you, holding hands and laughing. You look over to your right and you see another couple sharing a bench. You see the way they look at each other and you wish with all your heart that it could be you and that special someone you like.
You are not alone. Being single in the 21st century is different. Back in the day, most men and women were married by the age of 20 and it was almost weird to be single and successful, without a husband with extra support. Women were given the job as a housewife, and most of the time taking care of the children too. Women didn't start to become more independent until about 1990.
It is safe to say that it is indeed easier to be single now than back in 1970. Why? That's up to you. To me, it's easier now to be single because it isn't as high of demand to be in a relationship.
The way society has portrayed relationships has altered what teens would consider real or not real. Healthy and unhealthy. The technology that we have today has altered the way relationships function in many ways. When I was first asked out on a date, I was in seventh grade.
Technology wasn't that great back then. My potential "boyfriend" had called my house on a landline. Yes! We still had those back in my day! Anyway, he called my dad and asked for permission to court me. For those of you who don't know, courting is when you are in a relationship with another person and there is no physical contact whatsoever. You don't hear about as often as you should nowadays.
You text the person constantly. Almost so much that when you finally do get to see your special someone, you don't have anything to say. Dates become more silent, the two growing more distant.
I have tried long-distance at two different points in my life. Once, my junior year of high school, and then again in college. Long-distance is OK, but the problem I always had was that either me, or the person I was with, were busy. We ran out of time. Yes, we made time for each other. But that only happened once in a while on the weekend. A huge shout-out to Skype and FaceTime for being invented! Long-distance is hard, and I applaud anyone who is making it work as of now.
Some people get into relationships just to say, "yes I have a boyfriend" (or girlfriend). Now, that's not fair to you, and definitely not to the other person. They may really like you. Don't use someone just to have the title and the benefits of a relationship. That is very wrong, and it could end very badly. Not just for the other person, but for you as well.
Why not just be single? There are so many things you can do to fill up your time with more than just that special someone. No one is alone. We have friends who love us, and who should love hanging out with you. Use your time and go shopping with them. Enter a hot dog eating contest. Go for a girls' weekend somewhere. I have a girls' weekend to Chicago planned for August. I'm excited.
Spend time with your family. Your family is always going to be there for you. Have family game nights, go out to eat or see a new movie. Disagree with your sibling. They won't turn their back even if you argue once in a while. Family and other close relatives are given to you. Use it. Go to Iowa to see your cousins, aunts and uncles. Shoot a text saying that you need to get together with them. Plan a trip to your hometown.
Get a job. Get involved. Take the extra time being single now to focus on you! Someday that Mr. (or Mrs.) Right is going to come into your life in the most unexpected way possible. You won't see it coming. When they do, it's going to be worth it. There will be clarity. You spent all that time being single focusing on becoming a better you, and finding out what you want in life. The person who you will encounter one day is going to love you for you are, and isn't going to want to change that. That's how you know they're the one.
