By this point, you probably know about the ups and downs I've faced in the relationship realm of things. Of course, you have. I talk about it like all the time. If you know anything about me, you'll come to learn that I am the most boy-crazy human being on planet Earth. Okay, that actually might be a tiny bit of a lie but I do still know that I am crazy in love and have no control.

Something amazing and awesome happened. Can you guess what it is?? I finally let go. I let go of all the negativity that was clouding my brain and became my own person, and honestly? It feels so amazing. I feel free, I feel changed. Alright, let's take it down a notch. What did I do, you ask? I dropped "my" boy. Well, more like he dropped me but regardless, I was going to end it anyway the day he stopped answering so ha, I win. I just don't understand what was wrong with my brain when I decided that being interested in him was the right decision or not. Like seriously, what was I thinking? I genuinely think I had a probe in my brain and aliens had taken over my brain and said, "You have to lower your standards." You think I'm kidding but seriously, I have a type. You know how each person has a type of guy or girl they are into to? This boy is 100 percent not my type and yet, I Was. Attracted. To. Him. WOW, I'm insane. Clearly, I was following my heart and not my brain. I'm not hurt by this at the moment but the last two times he walked out, boy did that mess me up. I never even met the guy in person and to be honest, I'm really glad I didn't. I'd probably hate him so much, like I already do right now.

It's been a week since we stopped talking and I find myself being a lot happier as the days pass by and I seem to radiate happiness wherever I may go; even my friends have noticed that I have changed my mindset and find the goodness in things. I've tried to do different things to help get my mind off things and change my attitude towards life by taking into consideration similar situations that people I know have been in.

Take my aunt for example. She was in the same place as me where everyone she was talking to ended rough and she saw no hope for a brighter future with a guy and essentially gave up and started to focus on herself and her friends. But that was until she met my uncle who dug deep and got her out of that rut that she put herself in and eventually they fell in love and got married a month ago. I long and ache for that day, where I finally find the person for me, the person that God made in reflection of myself. I know I have a long time until I find my forever person and gain interest in getting married - not because I don't want to settle down but because I don't want to put myself that close to heartbreak over and over again because with the way my life is going right now, I'm so unhopeful that there's going to be any change.

If my life is the same way my aunt's life is going, then I'm glad that I'm taking time for myself and finding peace within me and working on me before I work with someone else. The attention that a significant other/someone you're romantically talking to gives you feels so nice and that's the main part I miss about not talking to that boy, I miss the attention and the cute little remarks he'd make about something that I told him about, what I did or what I was wearing that day. Little things like that made me fall in love with the idea of attention, and I'm not going to lie, I CRAVE attention like no other; I'm a Leo and a girl so it makes sense. The problem with that is that it turns into a habit and when you don't get the attention you want, you start to lose your mind.

Boys suck so we don't need them to tell us whether or not we are worth it, because we already know we are. And if a guy gets to determine your worth, you need to drop that boy immediately and change your thinking, girl.

In a strange way, I kind of thank him for "ghosting" me because it made me realize that I have way more to offer than what meets the eye. And with everything that he found attractive in me, he gets to miss out on because he claims that distance was the problem but I know plenty of people who make being across the state and country work. I can use those compliments I received and build my confidence through the use of that and become a stronger person who doesn't let their guard down for just anyone. Regardless of that, it just proves that he was not worth the heartache and tears and he's just a shitty boy with an ugly personality. By seeing that, it helped me see that I have beautiful qualities and I'm going to make someone very happy one day. Until then, I can use those amazing qualities to make myself and my friends happier and live life one day at a time and make every moment better than the one before.

Trying to get to this point in my life where I'm finally okay with who I am and who I'm going to become in the future was a rough situation to overcome. That didn't stop me from being able to finally be at peace with myself and the rest of the world even though it's done me wrong from time to time. Yes, from time to time I slip back into those moments where I want him back in my life but I know that he left for a reason and that's good for me. I guess it was one of those "right person, wrong time" situations or maybe it wasn't; who knows? You meet the people you meet for a reason. Let's hope he comes back.