Birthdays are that one special time every year where the attention is all on you. The day commemorates you making it through another 365 days around the sun. This notable anniversary calls for parties, cake and let’s not forget the presents. Usually people cannot wait for the significant day and spend weeks preparing for it. However, if you’re like me, you know this isn’t the case.
First of all, I have a summer birthday. Anyone else who has their special day perfectly aligned in the months where school is not in session, this paragraph’s for you. As nice as it is to not have school on your birthday, it’s a huge hit to the attention factor. You don’t get to carry around an overwhelming amount of balloons and get “Happy Birthdays” from strangers down the hall. As a matter of fact, most people have forgotten to keep in touch like they said they would in your yearbook, leaving for only a select few to join in on the celebration. Thanks to social media it’s a lot easier to remind people why this specific summer day is so important to you but even then, there’s no such thing as a parent bringing a cake to your class while everyone sings and you’re crowned the MVP for the day for providing the sweets.
The next reason my birthday is a bittersweet day is because I lost somebody really special to me the day of my 16th birthday. Now I really hope no one can relate here because this feeling is the worst. As I’m walking in the front door after picking up my friend who lived around the corner, the tears on my mom’s face only confirmed the worst. A friend from work of hers, and a grandmother figure to me, who had been in the hospital for the past couple of days, didn’t make it. The news hit hard and it certainly changed how I celebrated that day and the ones for years to come. At least now I have a guardian angel; Ms. Mellies I am missing you always.
The same day of my “sweet” 16th birthday, I failed my driving test and I really thought the world stopped spinning for a while. My unfortunate amount of luck on this day seemed to be on a steady incline. Another reason birthdays are rather unenjoyable to me is that it is a reminder that I'm getting older and life is moving faster than I'm prepared for. I now get intense anxiety when I know the day is approaching due to past events and my inability to freeze time and take in every moment. I’m one of the few who enjoys my youth and as nice as 21 sounds, I’m feeling just fine at 17. These things are all out of my control but it is still a struggle I deal with yearly.
With the seasonal date, loss of a loved one and the failing of an unforgettable test, I look at birthdays a lot differently than most. I am more grateful for my friends and family who understand my reluctance of the date and still put forth all of their effort and more to make the celebration a good one. Each year I try to face the day headstrong and with a clear head, trying to let myself not sweat the small stuff and enjoy my growth. At least if I have another unlucky day, I have 364 days until I have to face it again.
