I've been dealing with numerous neurological symptoms for a year. I've endured multiple MRIs, blood work, physical tests, the works. I've been to the E.R. twice. I've been hospitalized for two days. I've baffled two doctors and a physical therapist. And no one can tell me what's wrong.

Many days I feel unwell and fatigued, other days I'm in pain and can hardly walk. I wake up in the morning not knowing what my health will be like that day. I set aside time to study, cook, or clean and often spend those times sitting down, sleeping, or reading the same paragraph four times to understand.

As an editor I've read and re-read articles, trying to edit them, unsure of how to proceed or how to rewrite some sentences. It feels like doing everyday tasks, and ones that I enjoy, involve every ounce of energy I have.

After going to class, it's a feat to do any more than trudge through homework due the next day. I often feel like a car attempting to run on empty.

I don't understand why. It's confusing, frustrating, and challenging. I sometimes find myself bitter because people say that your 20s are supposed to be the best years of your life. Right now it certainly doesn't feel that way.

My friends go out and bike trails, climb mountains, explore antique shops and coffeehouses, walk around the city, and spend hours at the mall. My Saturdays are spent recuperating for the next week.

Frustrating.

I'm still learning my limits and how much my body can take in one day. I'm still learning how to take each day in stride.

I'm learning to pat myself on the back when I do well and to be patient with myself. (Why are we all so hard on ourselves?)

But I'm learning to be grateful for each moment I'm on my feet. Each moment that isn't painful is lovely. Those five minute stretches that make me feel normal again are delightful. The weekend afternoon I feel well enough to go out makes up for all of the ones I don't.

Even though I don't know what's going on, and my doctor can't give me answers at the current moment, I'm hopeful because my God knows what's going on. He knows every aspect of my journey and is helping me learn beautiful lessons about selflessness and humility through it.

Even though my health makes me scared about the future and my ability to be a great journalist, I sit confident knowing that whatever God calls me to He will help me.

And even though my academic performance is no where near stellar, I'm learning to see goodness in my GPA because it means that no matter what I've faced, I haven't given up and walked away.

When I don't know what's wrong I'm tempted to get upset and have a pity party for myself; but I'm learning there is so much goodness in being grateful for the simple things.

*After you finish reading this, do yourself a favor and listen to "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life," the Simon and Garfunkel rendition. It's fits the theme of this piece really well!