It's OK To Not Forgive The People Who Hurt You
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Health and Wellness

It's OK To Not Forgive The People Who Hurt You

No, I don't need to just "get over it."

It's OK To Not Forgive The People Who Hurt You
Photo by Aricka Lewis on Unsplash

I've been hurt, bruised, and broken many times in my life. Thanks to ex-boyfriends and ex-friends, it's definitely not uncharted territory to me. Some I have forgiven, but some I never will.

And that's OK.

When you're hurt by someone you once cared for, it feels as if there's a very specific period of time you're allowed to actually experience that pain before you're supposed to move on. Hundreds of self-care and positivity gurus preach to forgive those who have wronged you, that in forgiveness, you'll grow as a person.

Well, I think that's bullshit.

There was a time in my life where my depression was the worst it had ever been. I pretty much only left my bed to go to work and shower. I never went to my classes and inevitably failed over half of them. My GPA tanked. I self-harmed. My friends ostracized me, and I think that's one of the things that hurt me the most during that time. I felt like I had basically no one, not even the people who once mattered most to me.

I was shamed for being depressed, for self-harming. For not doing what those "friends" wanted me to do, for not coping the way they wanted me to. I was screamed at. I was embarrassed. I became an outcast, shunned by everyone that associated with the people who were once my friends.

It really, really hurt.

I was guilty of not doing anything to better myself, yes, but I felt immobilized. No one seemed to grasp that. Instead, my depression became something that just brought everyone around me down. I was like a disease to them.

Will I ever forgive those people? Absolutely fucking not.

It's not easy being friends with someone who is depressed, let alone as depressed as I was during this time in my life. I understand that. But there are certain things that you just don't do, and I won't let anyone make me feel like the way they treated me was my fault. I won't forgive them, especially when they haven't apologized.

Maybe I won't ever "move on" from the hurt I felt then, but I honestly don't really want to. I'm tired of everyone saying to forgive the people who hurt me because "if anything, do it for you." I don't want to ever forget the way they treated me when I was at my lowest, the way they made me feel when I was already hurting so, so much. A person's actions speak volumes about them, and it took me wanting to die to learn that my best friends were just temporary.

So no, I won't forgive them, and it's OK that I don't want to. Forgiveness shouldn't be treated lightly and it should only be used when it's deserved. Some hurtful actions are just too much to forgive.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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