I really love naps and XL t-shirts.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I skip blind dates, double dates, and weddings just so that I can sleep or watch The Office and it's all for the same reason -
I am not the girl who is so stunningly gorgeous that guys literally stop in their tracks.
It's true - and no, dad, no guy has ever told me that.
I just look normal. Of course, like every other human on this beautiful planet, I am not ugly, but I don't have any feature that makes guys stop and say "wow that girl is beautiful".
I've known that for basically ever.
Middle school - all of my friends had dates to every single middle school dance, a few of them even got asked to high school ones.
High school - I got asked to one dance, all the others I skipped out on for whatever reason I could make up, but honestly I was just trying to hide the fact that I never got asked to anything.
College - I have to make Google Doc applications to find dates to things because I am just not that girl that every guy is attracted to.
Now, before you get all "this girl has some serious insecurity issues" on me you should know that I am actually very confident in who I am.
I have a super great personality and, besides the fact that I sleep for 10-16 hours a day, I am a pretty chill person to be around. The only downside is, personality is the selling point, not the attracting point.
Honestly, though, so what if I am not the 'main attraction?' I don't have to be.
Sure, sometimes it really does suck that I literally do not have guys knocking down my door. And it's really annoying that I am always the single friend, but the truth is - I am have gotten used to it and I am fine with it.
After a few years of heartbreak, I am content with who I am and what I look like.
Because in the end, even though my looks are "average," I serve an above average God and, as cheesy as it sounds, to Him my looks would never be considered "average."
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornments, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4
So here I am, focusing on my inner beauty. Building up and strengthing what is on the inside rather than trying to perfect something the world will never call above average.
Because in this world, girls like me don't stop traffic. We don't get doors held open for us. We don't have random guys ask us on dates or send out mass emails to get our attention.
And guess what - that is perfectly okay with me.
