This past semester has brought about more change than I ever could have imagined. My life looks pretty different now than it did in January, let alone in August. As someone who is not exactly fond of change all the time, that scares me a bit as I prepare to enter this summer uncertain of what these next four months have in store for me. It's caused me some fear as the end of the semester approaches, and I find myself wrestling with questions like, "What am I doing? Do I even have life figured out right now?"
I have found myself struggling with these questions so much in recent weeks. I have felt ashamed and stressed out for not knowing what I want or what I'm doing. It's encouraged emotions of anxiety, unworthiness, self-doubt and fear to take root in both my head and heart.
But why?
I think that much too often, 20-somethings struggle with this feeling of needing to have it all together. Perfection is stressed in our society, and comparison manifests itself in hearing and seeing what other people are doing with their lives (and social media isn't necessarily helping this). It's not easy seeing other people who have it all together with internships lined up, are in perfect relationships, looking perfect every single day and have a 4.0 GPA. We feel so much pressure in response to seeing people we think fit these descriptions and have life all figured out (but really, they're likely actually wrestling with similar questions too).
Uncertainty is a completely normal part of human life. I say that not only for you, but as another reminder for myself. Not knowing what exactly you want to do when you graduate is OK. Needing to figure out what you want out of relationships and friendships is 100 percent fine. Wrestling with how you want to spend your time and energy is normal.
Being unsure isn't a bad thing. It's actually a good thing.
There's a quote from Socrates that reads, "The unexamined life is not worth living for man." I think this is so accurate and such a faithful reminder to consistently look at your life and figure out where you are, what you want and whether or not you are happy. Having doubts and figuring yourself out is just a manifestation of examining your life. Rather than beating yourself up about being confused right now, you should feel joyful in the fact that you are reflecting on your life to ultimately help you live a happier life that will reap so many blessings.
So here's a little reminder in case you forget to remind yourself: uncertainty is OK. If you don't know what you want to be when you grow up yet, that's OK. Heck, I don't even know what I'm having for lunch today. Give yourself a little break, and don't be afraid to say, "I don't know yet."
