It's pretty easy to change who you are when you get caught up in liking someone; even in college, I catch myself beginning to alter my personality for a guy. But then, I retract and remember that it's harder pretending to be someone I'm not than just being myself. And what's cooler than being one hundred percent me? So before I start sounding like a cheesy, cliche after school special, I'm going to just bluntly say right away: ladies - never ever, under any circumstances ever . . . change yourself for a guy. I know you've probably heard this spiel at least a hundred and one times growing up, but even as adults, we can get sucked into changing ourselves for someone we fall head over heels for. Before you go and change yourself, there are some crucial things you need to think about and reflect on before pursuing this relationship.
First off, if he wants you to change, that's shallow anyway. If you're already feeling the pressure to alter who you are currently, then that's basically a red flag. It's easy looking past those kinds of things, especially when you really fall for a guy - but do you really want to be with someone who takes you for granted? Someone, who doesn't even like your originality? What makes you unique? Lots of girls and women fall into the trap of overlooking these things from the fear of being alone - but don't let that be a reason for you to settle for someone who doesn't take you as you are.
Another important thing to remember is that he shouldn't want to get rid of your flaws, he should embrace them. Like any good boyfriend (or girlfriend, whatever) they should be able to support your everyday life choices. Whether that's embracing your beautiful curves, or coming to terms with your mental illness, the guy should be there to reinforce your independent decisions and to respect them. If he can't do that, it's clear as day that he isn't the right guy for you and you need to look elsewhere.
If he feels embarrassed by you and doesn't want to show you off - even in all your quirky glory - he's definitely not a keeper. There's nothing more unattractive than a guy who holds onto a girl without letting her be able to shine. A keeper is a guy who truly loves her weirdness, her lame jokes, her dorky side. Besides, you deserve a guy who shares your dumb humor or at least appreciates its. You need someone to laugh at you genuinely when you crack those corny pun jokes. Don't waste your unique traits on someone who wants to hide them.
You're wasting your time when you could be flourishing with someone who appreciates you for you, and acceptance is important in all relationships. If he can't understand that concept, why sit around with a guy who can't accept who you are? He might as well leave himself and look for something more his speed. Besides, that's a compliment on you. It shows you have self respect, and you're strong enough to let a guy go - even if that means being single for awhile. Point blank: this is the full package; either take it or leave it. You're not going to change.
The next time you start to fall for someone, whether it's a simple crush, an infatuation, or something genuinely real with potential, always always keep in mind that no guy has the right to change you. I've seen it too many times, and I've been a victim of it myself. In the end, it gets easier when you can just lay it all out there and not hide your beauty and charm from the world.
