Don’t forget what we had or who you are
Start writing a post

Don’t forget what we had, who you are, and that your light is needed in the world.

You were my absolute favorite smell. I wonder if you still smell that way. Was it just when I knew you? Has it changed over time?

Don’t forget what we had, who you are, and that your light is needed in the world.

People say that time heals everything. That if you give things time, your pain, and your wounds, will become insignificant, and small. Well I've given things time. I've waited, I've painted, I've sang, I've written, I've dated, I've distracted myself in every way possible. You still seem to weasel your way into every damn thought, every dream, every moment. It's gotten a bit easier. Rather than a constant banging in my head, you're a persistent tap now. You bounce back and forth unnoticed, and sometimes hit a soft spot, and you stay there cushioned up. You bring up the laughs, and the smiles, and the smell. The fucking smell. You were my absolute favorite smell. I wonder if you still smell that way. Was it just when I knew you? Has it changed over time? I'll catch that same scent every once in a while when I'm out. It makes me pause for too long probably. It makes me pause, and smile, and close my eyes because it's one of the best smells. It's addicting. You were addicting. Maybe I'll always feel like I need you. Maybe I'll always feel like I want you here. And when I feel that way, I have to cry sometimes. I have to ugly cry, and scream a little, and I have to remind myself that you were never MINE. I miss the excitement sometimes. The feeling I felt, like I couldn't believe someone so beautiful, so unique, so fucking vibrant, was even interested in plain old me. I miss you when I see Llamas. I miss you when I watch Rick and Morty. I miss when you when I pass by yankee candle in the mall. I miss you when I hear so many songs. I miss you after I dream of you. I miss you a lot. You had this way of just staring at me. You still do. You look at me so intensely, and it makes me want to cower away, but I don't. I know that you see me in ways that many others don't. You see the ugly, and you're okay with it. I hope that we find our way back. Even if that's seeing you in a bar, and saying hello. Even if that's being able to see one another with someone else, and not getting a sting in each other's hearts. Even if it's a drunken hookup in the future, to remind us that we want to be close, but maybe we aren't meant to be. I love you, still. Even if you never loved me. That love sits heavily in my stomach sometimes. It feels like your squeezing me, telling me that you still think about me too. I want you to know that I think you're beautiful, and smart, and funny as hell, and refreshing. You're so refreshing in a world of shit. I love who you were, and who you are. I always will. I'll always write to you, and about you because that's who I am. I hope to see you again. I hope to catch that smell in the grocery store, or subway, and to reminisce. Remembering you is the best, and worst at times. It sticks around for weeks, not just moments. But then again, you've always stuck around. Just promise me, to never forget. Please. Don't forget me. Don't hate me. Don't hold back anything. I want to know when you're thinking of me. I want to know that you're doing okay. I want to know that we are on good terms. I want to know that you're happy, and well, and taking care of ourself, and thriving, even if that means with someone else. Because you fucking deserve it. I'll see you whenever. Even if it's on the gram, or while I'm asleep, or in our old photos. I'll see you.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments