Do yourself a favor and don’t date. Don’t causally hang out with the opposite gender, don’t go out to dinner, don’t hookup with strangers at a party. Don’t answer the phone when you’re asleep, don’t make exceptions for a fleeting fling, don’t date.

I promise you won't have regrets.

You’ll be upset; you’ll feel you missed an opportunity. You’ll wonder what could’ve been, even though you know you shouldn’t. You’ll imagine all the possibilities.

Imagination is more fun than reality.

It’s fun to play pretend, to create storylines in your head. They usually play out better than the real thing, because everything goes according to the agenda you create. And it’s perfect. It’s fun.

You’ll see that boy with another girl and think how that could’ve been you, but you don’t really know that. You don’t know that things would’ve worked out.

And you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. He could be the best gentleman in the world, or the biggest wannabe frat star, trying to fuel his reputation with multiple hot hookups.

You’ll feel lonely when you see a couple, or maybe envious. You’ll desire to be held, to have one sweet kiss.

Because girls, lets be honest with ourselves and with the world. We don’t want just a hot hookup, or a fleeting feeling, a momentary fling, no. We want the real thing.

Sure it’s fun to date around. No commitment means no pressure, no expectation and to a degree that’s appealing. It’s lighthearted and fun. It echoes the ideals of “young and twenty-one”.

I mean, why worry about the future when the future is so far away?

Because it’s closer than you think.

Because what you do now impacts the rest of your life. It serves as a determinant for how you will conduct your behavior in the years to follow.

Do you want to be twenty-seven and still dating around? Few would say that’s desirable because dating around changes a lot between twenty and twenty-seven. At twenty-seven people date around to find the one not to be with just anyone, the pressure isn’t off, it’s on.

The fun is taken out of dating around.

The argument can be made for the special few (usually portrayed in the latest chick-flick) for those who do single well, who date around well; but those are the exceptions.

Recently, I re-watched A Little Bit Of Heaven, starring Kate Hudson (one of my favorites). I hope you have seen it and I’m not spoiling the plotline for you. In this moving Kate Hudson is diagnosed with cancer. During an operation to save her life, she goes to heaven and sees God, who is represented by Whoopi Goldberg. In this encounter, Kate Hudson gets three wishes. Thinking it’s a joke she wishes to fly, for a million bucks, and… she doesn’t know. But Whoopi tries to pressure her into saying what they both know to be true.

*SPOILER ALERT* She wants love. She wants the true romance she has never had. She’s a strong, independent woman who has a steady career and is successful on her own. This strength, will, and determination keep her blinded from the desires of her heart. Love.

Isn’t this true for us? At the end of it all, don’t we want love? Not some fling of a romance that doesn’t amount to anything and leaves one or both side victims of heartache, no. We want love. The love that poets write about. The love musicians bring sound to. The warm feeling of embrace. Someone standing by your side on your absolute worst day.

This is why I say,

You won't regret it.

You won’t regret not being a late night hookup. You won't regret those two awkward dates with some boy that you knew wouldn’t amount to anything. You won’t regret the time spent getting to know your now best friend because you said no to that boy, who asked you to go home with him after the party.

You won't regret it.

You certainly won’t regret having one (or more) less poor decision(s) to tell your husband. You won’t regret saving yourself and saving your love for him.

If we take ourselves out of the exciting moment of the present emotions that exist in front of us and dwell on the future, dwell on what can come about, well… we may have a few less mistakes and a few less regrets.

Now I know I’m saying don’t date, heck that’s even the title of the article, but that’s not exactly what I’m saying. What I want is for you to be smart. To think through your decisions before you make them, to consider the possibilities good and bad. You won’t be able to protect yourself from everything, its impossible, but try. For ladies, each and every one of you has a heart to be treasured and loved well. It shouldn’t be wasted on some boy that isn’t worth your time. If that boy is worth your time, then by golly go on a date. If he is sweet and caring and more than just a hot body or a cute face, go on that date. You’ll never know if you don’t try, but don’t try them all. You’re not in a candy shop or at a wine tasting.

You won’t go home to a box full of chocolates, or every wine in the store, you get one. So make the choice a little easier and limit your options. And of course, choose the best one for you.

Above all, treasure yourselves. Recognize the value within you and don’t settle. Seek love, not dating. Seek romance not the counterfeit love of causal hangouts and fleeing moments of feel-good times.

Be a witness to the treasure you possess. Carry yourself as a woman of value because that is what you are.

Set your standard higher than you’re comfortable with because in the end, only one has to reach it.