"Expectation is the root of all heartache." - William Shakespeare
If you're a person who holds high standards, you might also have high expectations. While high standards are perfectly acceptable and commendable, high expectations often lead to disappointment. Eliminate certain expectations, and you will be happier.
Don't break your own heart.
Unmet expectations bring constant let downs. These letdowns occur in multiple areas of life: relationships, friendships, and personal goals. If you set unreasonably high expectations in each of these areas, you're placing a limit on your happiness.
In relationships, we tend to have unattainable expectations for our partners. This is different than having high standards because everyone deserves to hold their standards high. For example, we should make sure our partners are treating us kindly, telling us the truth and making us happy.
The expectations we hold, however, tend to be nearly impossible to achieve, primarily because we don't vocalize them - we just want our partners to know what we're thinking, and do exactly what we've hoped. When they act differently than we've imagined, even if it's purely out of ignorance of our wishes, we grow annoyed with them.
To be sure, we can't always vocalize our expectations, in instances where our thoughts run rampant. I am extremely guilty of this. When we meet someone new and catch feelings, we can't help but allow thoughts of the future to creep into our minds. We create situations in our heads that could be months away, yet they feel real, certain and concrete. We get the idea that all of these perfect things are going to happen, and then when they don't, we are heartbroken.
We break our own hearts simply because we idealize a future when the truth is we truly cannot control anyone's actions but our own. We place too much faith in our significant others to act according to our plans, dreams, and wishes. This is detrimental to our happiness.
We cling to many of the same ideas in our friendships. We want our friends to check in on us because we retweeted something sad on twitter. We want them to compliment us on our makeup that we worked diligently on, or tell us we look pretty in our Instagram selfie.
We convince ourselves that when they don't check in on us, compliment us or comment the heart eye emoji on our picture, they don't care about us. We think this must mean they don't love us as much as we love them. This is so untrue. It means nothing when they don't comply to our unspoken wishes. We must diminish these expectations and rather create happiness within ourselves.
Finally, we hold ourselves to unreasonably high expectations. While setting sky-high goals is incredible and exemplary, we must understand that we will not always reach these goals. We will make mistakes because we are far from perfect. So, yes, keep setting high goals for yourself, but don't beat yourself up when you fall short. It's a "goal" for a reason - something you have to work toward.
We might eventually accomplish the goals that formerly seemed unachievable, but this does not occur through a self-deprecating attitude. This occurs through our ability to recognize our mistakes, work hard and aim for that goal once again. Don't beat yourself up when things don't go according to plan, and remind yourself that you're still young.
Don't break your own heart. Stop flooding your brain with unrealistic expectations, because you will only become upset. Plus, if you limit these high expectations, you will be extremely grateful for the small victories. Don't rely on others for your happiness, because that is a dangerous game. Embrace life to the best of your ability with high standards, but lower expectations.
