Every so often, my roommate and I engage in deep discussions about life, love and the paths we’re following. We confess to each other that we’re afraid. Are we pursuing the correct degrees? Can we handle the real world? What if we don’t have jobs when we graduate? What if we never fall in love? What if we don’t meet the people we’re meant to spend the rest of our lives with? What if we do, but it doesn’t work out? As we travel through the journey of life, particularly during our 20's, we often find ourselves asking these questions.
“It’s going to be okay,” we tell each other. “It’s all going to work out in the end. It has to, we just need to be patient.”
When your entire life is in front of you, not knowing what the future holds is absolutely terrifying. Upon entering adulthood, you have the power to create your own path, and this is such a blessing. You can pursue your passions, form new friendships and achieve lifelong goals. However, while these quests are amazing and exciting, they are also accompanied by fear. You worry you’re not making the right decisions. You worry you’ll end up in a dead-end job that’s nowhere close to your dream career. Maybe you’re not sure what your lifelong goals are. Maybe you feel as if you’re just floating along, going through the motions. You’re stressed because you feel like things won’t work out for you, and you’ll go through life never truly reaching the level of happiness you aspire to obtain.
Remind yourself that you’re still young.
You’re new to this earth. You have the power to decide your own future, and yes, it’s terrifying, but think about this: if you’re unhappy with where you are in life, you have the power to change it.
You have the ability to meet new people every single day. Take advantage of this, because sometimes the best friendships occur when you least expect it.
If you have a passion, make a conscious effort to spend time pursuing it. Do you enjoy painting? Write “Paint at 6 p.m.” on your planner for Sunday evening. You’re much more likely to hold yourself accountable if you write it down. Do you love reading? Do some research, find your local bookstore, and pick up an interesting novel. If you don’t know what your passion is, explore different options. I promise there’s something you absolutely love out there, even if you don’t know what it is yet.
If you get out of college and realize you’re in a dead-end job, look for a new job. You don’t have to stay if you’re unhappy (that message applies to many different situations). Sometimes people don’t discover what they’re passionate about, or what career they want to pursue, until later in life, and that’s okay. You have to understand that you’re always learning, growing and finding out things about yourself. Even the 95-year-old man doesn’t quite have it all figured out. Everyone is just making it up as they go along, because we don’t receive an instruction manual in life.
If you’re worried about love, don’t be. You should make yourself happy before you look for that happiness in another human being. If you reach the point in your life where you want to pursue a serious relationship, give it your all. Aim to achieve the type of love that you feel deep within your soul, because that’s what you deserve. Don’t be content with halfway, one-sided relationships that leave you wondering what it feels like to love and be loved equally in return. Be brave and know that your person is out there somewhere in this world. One day, you’ll understand why you dealt with a broken heart at 18, 22 and 28. You’ll understand why it didn’t work out with the person whom you thought it would. I know it’s difficult to be open to new relationships if you’ve been hurt in the past, but you’ll never know if you don’t try.
If your loved ones are in relationships or seem to have it all figured out, I know it can make things seem worse. You see their accomplishments, relationships and success, and wonder when you’re going to be in their shoes. Be patient. Remember, you’re creating your own path, and you’re continuously growing as you walk it.
No, the world doesn’t owe you anything. Sometimes life is going to kick you while you’re down, and the light at the end of the tunnel will seem to disappear. Take comfort, however, in knowing that light is not gone forever. Think about how much life can change in even a day, let alone a year. If you’re feeling lost or doubtful now, think about how different your life was just 12 months ago. This time next year, things will be different. You just have to continue to pursue your passions, learn about yourself, and give as much love as humanly possible. You’re going to make mistakes, and your path will change directions. Sometimes these unexpected changes will lead to something beautiful.
Remind yourself that you’re still young. I promise it’s going to work out.
