This morning when I was going to the gym I was listening to the radio and I happened to tune in right in the middle of the morning hosts reading “A letter to my breadwinner husband”.
From the second I tuned in I knew it was going to be frustrating, but what I didn't anticipate was the lack of push back from listeners.
Either people my age just don’t listen to the radio any more, I was up too ungodly early or the demographic of this radio station skewed way older than I thought.
As the calls started rolling in, I got more and more frustrated.
Of all of the comments, this particular one (from a man) was my favorite (read: “favorite” as dripping with sarcasm): “It’s just the way it should be and it’s unfortunate that some women have to work."
Excuse me? It’s “the way it should be” according to whom? According to your 1950s, backwards viewpoints maybe, but not in 2016 and definitely not for me.
Aside from the fact that I, and most millennial women I know, want to work and develop a career, I don’t understand how families that can survive on a one-parent income still exist.
What with car payments and maintenance, rent, groceries, utility bills, and general expenses, living on a single parent income and raising children seems like an impossibility; especially to millennials.
For instance, I know so many millennials with more seemingly insurmountable student debt than they know what to do with. And before you get on your “your college was obviously too expensive or you didn’t work hard enough for scholarships” soapbox, that debt wasn’t because they made irresponsible higher education choices or because they lacked scholarship funds, it’s because college is damn expensive now and if you want a job that leads to a career, you have to get that $100,000 piece of paper.
And we haven’t even talked about the whole “I feel so sorry for women who have to work and don’t get to raise their kids” comment. That one was really the cherry on top of a pile of outdated logic.
I want to work. I want to develop a career. I don't want to have to rely on someone else for my basic living expenses, and I know many millennials, both women and men alike, who would agree with me.
Being able to stand on my own two feet is vitally important to me.
I watched my mother raise my sister and I as a single mom for a few years, and after she remarried and had my other sister and brother she continued working her way all the way up to a Vice President position even though my step-father worked at a great job.
Sure, this meant that she made sacrifices and wasn’t home as much which meant that my siblings and I had a variety of other child care throughout our lives, but it wasn’t at all to our detriment.
My siblings and I are all strong, determined individuals who have the desire to work hard to make something out of ourselves. We are well-adjusted, grew up in a loving home, and still have a very strong family connection with our parents and each other.
I did not suffer because my mother (or father) chose to work. Let me say that again.
I. Did. Not. Suffer.
I actually feel that I benefitted from seeing my mother work so hard. It made me even more driven to succeed and work towards my goals, especially as a woman. I got into a good school. Graduated. Did the whole awful post-grad job search thing. Found my passion-career. And feel that I am well on my way to a successful and fulfilling life.
And maybe that includes kids. Maybe it doesn’t. But regardless of kids or not, nothing will change my desire to work and develop my career. Nothing will alter that path for me. And you can be damn sure that if I choose to have kids, I will be a great mom and a great business women.
