In today's society, there is such pressure to conform to the family stereotype that we as humans have built. Growing up, I had a picture-perfect idea of what my life should have looked like. Sitting around the dinner table with a mom and a dad, a brother or maybe even a sister, just talking about how our days were. Unfortunately for me, that's not how things went. Having an absent father is something no child should ever have to experience, because, for a little girl, her daddy is her first love. However, despite the pain this may bring, there is so much joy in seeing how strong one parent can be when completing the role of not one, but both parents.
I had a superwoman of a mom who not only played her part, but the part of a father as well. She stepped up in place of the father who chose not to be there. There was no "taking turns" in the middle of the night. She suited up and took on what I consider to be one of the biggest challenges there is. She taught me all the things a mother teaches her daughter: How to cook, the proper way to clean, how to put on make-up, paint your nails, fix your eyebrows just right, and much more. On top of her motherly duties to me, she also made sure I was tough as nails.
She spent hours in the driveway with me teaching me how to shoot a basket, only to build me up when I got discouraged about missing the goal. She taught me how to ride a bike, but picked me up and held me close the first time I skinned my knee because the first time was unbelievably bad. She taught me how to throw and catch a softball, not knowing that one day she would be driving me all across the country one day to play a sport I would become immensely passionate about. She taught me how to change the oil in my car when I got older, and showed me where the spare tire was (because, let's face it, some moms just can't change a tire). She taught me how to work hard for what I want and to not let a man be the center of my world. She taught me that people leave and that's OK, but to remember who's by your side at the end of the day. I watched her buy property, build us a house, buy a car, and create a perfect life for us, all on her own. It wasn't society's definition of perfect, but it was perfect to me. She could've decided that it was too hard and walked away, because one parent did it, so why not both, right? But no, she chose me. Every day my mother chose me and chose to work hard to make a better life for us.
So to the parents playing both roles: I applaud your strength, courage and perserverance to strive to create a path of excellence for your kids. You are amazing in every way possible, and someday your child will be grateful for everything you did for them despite the fact they knew something was missing. In my book, you're nothing less than a superhero. Because it takes tremendous power to raise a child all by yourself.
