Trust me, through the tears you'll one day be able to see the benefits of having your heart broken.
1. You'll re-discover your self-worth
It shouldn't take a tragedy to know what you're worth, especially if mama raised you right. However, it is often difficult to comprehend how much you're worth when you're in a toxic relationship. For example, toxic relationships can teach you that "you ain't worth shit" and take an even greater toll on how you view yourself. After breaking ties with someone who was a constant outlet of toxicity, you'll slowly begin to realize that you are worth something more than to be someone's punching. You'll come to terms with the fact that you are worth more than he can ever see. I see it, trust me.
2. You'll re-learn how to be genuine
After a nasty break up, a mutual break up, and even an un-exclusive break up, you'll realize that only genuine people can fill your gas tank of life. You'll realize that genuine people will ask you how you are or how your day went because they truly want to know. Their conversations won't feel forced or awkward. It'll feel natural and you'll be able to see the glow in someone's face if they're genuine. You'll also re-learn how to be a genuine person. Breakups are damaging but they are also a time for you to learn more about yourself than ever before. With bad breakups comes a lot of thinking. You'll re-think about how you handled situations and arguments and what you could have done better. But that doesn't mater. What matters is that you learn how to better yourself into being a genuine person, genuine lover, and genuine soul. It's achievable, I promise. But, also note that you don't have to break up with your S/O in order to rediscover the meaning of being a genuine person.
3. You'll re-discover yourself
It always seems that after a breakup women claim to find themselves. I believe that it is in moments like this we find ourselves because the person we clung to for so long is now gone. The person we thought we needed by our side to accomplish even the slightest task is no longer, well, by your side. You'll realize that although he's gone and you're alone that there's a whole side of you that you didn't know existed because he consumed your life, personality, and willingness to find your true self. You'll feel an overwhelming sense of freedom and this sense of freedom will open your mind and soul to the things that you never imagined. Post-breakup discovery is powerful and important.
4. You'll realize mom is always right (and sometimes dad)
Post-breakup meltdowns are a thing. You'll want to be cliche and crawl into bed with your mom and girlfriends while eating your body weight in ice cream, crying. And you will do this and mom will be there to be your support system. While supporting you, mom will slip in a few words like, "I told you so" "I never liked him anyways" "I could see he wasn't good for you right from the start" and other common phrases. You'll become upset that she's pointing this out while you're in a place of delicacy. But, once you conquer this day and reflect, you'll be able to see that maybe mom is right. And maybe sometimes mom knows what's best for you. And maybe, just maybe, mom has some experience with men so she can tell more about them than your fragile nineteen-year-old self could.
5. You'll discover that men suck
This is just obvious. As women, when men mess something up, we are quick to say that they "ain't shit" and that they're ungrateful and overall suck. It's an automatic response from women in a cruel attempt to soothe friends. If women say that men, specifically your ex, ain't shit, then eventually we think that we'll believe it and move on. During this delicate time you'll realize that not all men suck. Just your previous man sucks. You'll also discover that while your previous man sucked, that there are a few good fish in the sea, just look at your dad.
6. You'll develop a new appreciation for time
Hopefully you'll be able to develop a new sense for time because of how the grieving process works. Yes, there is a grieving process for breakups. You'll realize that the more time that passes, the better you feel and the stronger you become. You'll realize that you can use this time of healing to work on you and to focus on you. This is probably one of the more important benefits of having your heart crushed. You'll realize that it takes time to build trust and love, but only seconds to destroy it. From this you'll also learn that because shit happens in the blink of an eye, to take a step back and appreciate things a little more frequently. You'll re-learn the true meaning of "thank you" "I love you" or even "How are you?" Because over time these dainty phrases become just words and are meaningless. You'll see that with time, things fade and with time, things blossom.
7. You'll be free
Specifically, if you were in a toxic relationship you'll come to see that the chains that held you down are broken. You'll see that now, it's just you against the world. It's all about you, and what more of a feeling is that than free. In order for birds to fly, they have to be set free. You're free now, so fly. You have a new sense of worth that makes you want to do all of the things he said you couldn't. The things he didn't approve of. The things that made you less of a woman. Do them. You're free after all.
8. You'll see the sun on the darkest days
Perhaps the darkest day is the day that things ended. No matter what happens, you'll realize that after the darkness of the breakup passes that the sun will always rise. The storm will run out of rain. The dark will turn into day. Nothing lasts forever and you know that. Being mindful that nothing lasts forever will help you to find peace in knowing that it's okay to feel sad and dark and depressed because those feelings won't last forever. Those feelings will dwindle and the sun will come out. And when the sun comes out, grab a cup of coffee and sit outside while watching it rise. Then you too, shall rise.
9. You'll discover being alone isn't that bad
You'll hopefully see that you don't need someone by your side all of the time. It's okay to have someone by your side, but it is also important to know that being alone in your own presence is more important. You'll learn things about yourself and your own company you had never considered before. You'll learn to enjoy your own company and your own presence. You will learn that being alone is rewarding and feeds your soul. Above all things, you'll learn that being alone isn't a bad thing. It's encouraged as long as you're alone in a healthy way. Meaning you don't isolate yourself but rather you focus on fixing yourself and improving yourself on your own without the feedback of others.
All in all, heartbreak sucks. Having your heart ripped out hurts. And although there are many things that are hard to focus on while going through feelings of heartache, there is more that is bound to come out of it to benefit you than you realize. Keep your head high and know that you have benefits coming your way.
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