Distraction
Start writing a post
Adulting

Distraction

It's more than meets the eye.

10
Distraction

Distraction has been running rampant through my life lately. At first, I thought it was a feeling of being overwhelmed, but when I noticed I preferred playing Assassin's Creed instead of working on a writing assignment that was due at 11:59 PM that evening, distraction seemed to be a better fit.

As this summer comes to an end, lots of new beginnings loom on the horizon: my oldest son starts high school (when the heck did that happen?!), my other two boys start first and third grades, and work on my thesis (aka my novel) should be well under way. Looking at these things, being the planner girl that I am, I made lists, marked important dates, and used stickers and washi wherever I could. Items came off the list:

Buy school supplies. Check.

Organize and pack them. Check.

The one thing that didn't seem to make any movement off my list was working on my thesis. Every time I sat down at the keyboard or sat down to research, something always came up.

I don't have the right notebook.

I need to clean the litter box.

I'll wait until the kids go to sleep to write.

[Insert random excuse here.]

When I sat down and took stock of things, one thing was clear: my distraction stemmed from my fear. I want to sit down and make progress on my thesis. But, when I stare at the blinking cursor, fingers poised to type, fear set in. Will I get this done on time? Have I done enough research? Will anyone read and like this? These questions plague me, feeding the fear that keeps me from writing, from starting to make some progress towards achieving a lifelong dream.

These questions have no concrete answers and that is the toughest part. My being needs to have exact answers. There is no room for any grey areas. That fear of the unknown, of rejection, has kept me from writing the novel that I know is inside of me. I realize now that my motivation to write my novel has been all wrong. Would I love to write a best seller? Of course! Would I love to make a profit from it? You know it! But, worrying about those things have kept me from doing the thing that I love. When I began the pursuit of authorship, it was my love of reading and writing that drove me. I wanted to write a book that people will love and want to read over and over. Was I thinking about rejection or profits? No. All I wanted to do was write. I wanted to take that crazy dream of mine and make it a reality. But then fear caught hold of me and choked the life out of that desire. It made me believe that my life needed to be about other things and to go after that instead.

Now as I look back on those years, I can see that fear had gotten its way and led me away from my passion. I accomplished other things instead, like finishing college and becoming a mother. However, now I'm in a season where I'm ready to tackle the next thing. Writing beckons to me again, but so does the fear. And it's trying hard to wrench this dream out of my hands. This time around, I will fight the fear that comes disguised as a distraction. Like a locust, it has already eaten away at time, trying to leave a wasteland in its wake. But not this time.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

90059
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

62203
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments