I will make it no secret that I despise Donald Trump. I do not find him to be "great" in the positive connotation. I do find him to be great at being racist. Great at failing to use actual facts and instead relying on hot air. Great at not actually answering questions but just saying the same words over and over again like "great," "success," and "you know." We don't know Donald, you won't tell us. You can't give a straight answer to save your life. So here I am, giving you a straight answer to a question you didn't ask, but make a lot of assumptions on. You claim that women and the American people love you. Mr. Trump, I'd like to give you my honest opinion, as a female American. Please read all about my undying love and commitment to your gloriously misguided and inflated ego.
1. I think you're a self-righteous hot air balloon who has never seen the ground, being born in a place of privilege.
I truthfully think you hallucinate up there in the clouds that you're a God, and the truth is you're not. You are not a God. You are not a savior. You are not the messiah we've been waiting for. You are an angry little man who was born lucky. You were born into a family that had money. Not everyone is. Not everyone can just lift themselves by their bootstraps and become a billionaire.The American dream isn't a realistic option for many, even most people. Stop trying to sell something that is ineffectual and impossible.
2. If you're trying to bolster your public image, maybe you should start by deactivating your Twitter account.
It is, as was was noted in You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch, "an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots." There are other lines in the song that are also fitting to describe you, and I wish your heart would grow three sizes so we'd actually know you had one.
3. I think your wall is a terrible idea.
I'd love for you to go watch John Oliver's episode on your fabulously expensive creation that will ultimately solve nothing and cost a fortune. You might learn something. I'll even make it easy for you, here's the clip: John Oliver
4. Saying you respect women is a disrespect to all women.
You enjoy degrading women. You don't care about their political affiliation, you don't care about their support. What you want is for women to be silent, unheard, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen while you and the big boys run the world. Guess what Donald. I am a woman who will not be silenced, and I know a whole bunch of others who feel the same way. Don't believe me, check the polls. And don't throw that "liberal media" crap at me, because Fox News conducted a poll too which found tons of interesting data including that 55% of women said they would be scared if you were our next President. If you want to read more on that poll by your buddies over at Fox News (excluding Megyn Kelly of course since you burned that bridge down to the ground) click here.
5. You seriously need to learn to fact check things.
A little research on Snopes, Google, maybe even a peer-edited journal here or there couldn't hurt. You're "really rich" so I'm sure you can hire some smart person to read a few articles and make you sound like you actually care about the office you're running for. If I wanted a grumpy sea lion clapping its little hands together and barking out random nonsense then I'd vote this guy for President.
Oops, that's a walrus clapping. My bad. The resemblance was just so uncanny. A big weirdly colored beast that is overly confident in its abilities. Sorry, my mistake. I should've made sure to google what a sea lion looked like first. Clearly this is my college education failing me. Clearly college is not expensive enough because I'm clearly not valuing it. On behalf of myself and all other college students, please make sure to make college cost the small price of a million dollars, it really will make us appreciate that degree. Being in debt for the rest of our lives and struggling to provide for our children which are the future generation is just an unfortunate consequence we're going to have to deal with.
6. I want to end with my "trump card."
You are an angry man who wants to throw out anyone who isn't a true American. Never mind that the only true Americans are the Native Americans who we illegally stole land from, killed with smallpox, enslaved, and treated like garbage.
No, you truly want to ensure that all of the non-true Americans, namely Muslims and Mexicans are thrown out of the country and kept out by your wall, which you propose will be very large which suggest to me that you might be compensating for something. The problem with throwing these Muslims and Mexicans out, which to you seems to be no harder than throwing away a M(uslims)&M(exicans) wrapper, is that these are the people that have jobs that no one wants. Just think. If you become President, who is going to be willing to be on the Secret Service? I'm not taking a bullet for you, and there's probably not a long list of people who would be willing. Maybe if you were a little nicer, you could hire somebody who is, admittedly, a little bit different from you, but who can do the job better than anyone else you know, they've been hit with your word bullets for years now.
In conclusion, you are not as loved as you seem to believe. "You're not a beautiful and unique snowflake." (That quote is from fight club, which I'm not supposed to talk about, but considering your focus on purposefully avoiding political correctness, I figured it was okay.) You're not even the right color which is why you've been compared to an Oompa Loompa, not because you give candy factories to children, because that might be considered welfare, and we wouldn't want people to think you actually cared about the poor, or anyone else. That is my problem with you. You don't care about anyone else but yourself. When asked why you want to be president, you might as well just tell everyone the truth. You want to be president because you want the shiny gold trophy, and like every other award or achievement in your life you think you can just buy it. While money goes a long way in a presidency, it isn't everything. Instead of comparing you to an Oompa Loompa, I think it's much fairer to draw a comparison between you and Veruca Salt. You got your money from daddykins, you thought you could always get whatever you wanted by stomping your feet and yelling "I want". I just hope that America wakes up, sees you for the bad nut you are, and throws you down the garbage shoot.
