We know The Donald is probably anti-Christmas (after all, the holiday revolves around an illegal alien from the North Pole hopping our border to break into people's homes), but we figured we'd go ahead and make out his Christmas list anyway. Check out what we think Trump deserves under his tree this year (you know, other than a lump of coal):
1. Some bricks and mortar: how else do you think he's gonna build that wall?
2. An American-born wife: he'll need a new spouse if he carries out his plans to say "adios" to all immigrants.
3. An Ancestry.com membership: just in case anyone starts questioning his citizenship.
4. Some tasty human flesh to munch on.
5. His own Kardashian-style reality show.
6. Nipple covers: we know how he feels about nipples.
7. A new pet.
8. A new endorsement deal.
9. An appointment with a speech therapist.
10. Some clown make-up to run an honest president campaign.
11. A mistress who looks exactly like his daughter.
