Our generation loves to use the internet to answer all of the important questions in life. We know what really matters, so instead of asking what the meaning of life is, we ask the things that really count such as:
Hot dogs or legs?
Puppies or Bagels?
Chihuahua or Muffin?
The internet is a magical place where magical ideas are born. Today I want to answer a question that I feel is equally important as those above, and more relevant to modern day politics. I want to know, is it Donald Trump or Jabba the Hutt? The man yelling in the suit at all of these debates brings a disturbing sense of deja vu to my mind of all of those forced family viewings of Star Wars as a child. So to the internet, I present my question. Are we trying to elect Billionaire Donald Trump, Greedy Slug Jabba The Hutt, or are they one in the same?
Trump has recently spent a lot of time focusing on the size of his hands and other defining characteristics. Those aren't the ones I think he should be concerned with however. Just like Jabba The Hut, he has a rather unfortunate coloration and overall appearance and impression. Also, is it just me, or do their eyes share a disturbingly similar quality? Shifty and hooded, like they're hiding something, namely a soul.
The two men (slugs?) also share a terrifying desire for greed, power, and control over their own little spots of land. Building walls and kicking people out is kind of their thing. Peace is of little importance to these powerful creatures, they are, instead, all about the money.
These two also somehow think they have what it takes to be the political leaders of a nation. This, for Jabba the Hutt, resulted in slavery and running the country "like a business" so that he could accrue personal wealth and power (and women from far off lands...Russia anyone?). Who's to say that America won't start to resemble Tatooine if the slug is put in the white house?
They act the same, they look the same, they ARE the same person.
So Americans, when you are going out to vote, consider this. Do you want to vote for a greedy slug, or do you want to vote for a hero? Vote for Han-Solo, AKA Bernie Sanders
Or even Princess Leia AKA Hillary Clinton
The galaxy needs for you to be a hero. Whether it's Han Solo, Princess Leia, Even Jar Jar Binx.
Vote, and prevent Jabba the Hutt from becoming our next present. Don't let America, or Tatooine, the United States or the galaxy to suffer. Be the Jedi Warrior you were born to be and fight against the tyranny. Don't let Trump's empire strike, resistance isn't futile, grab your lightsaber and get down to the election office. There is a ballot with a lot of people's names on it. It's your time. Save the galaxy.
