Have you ever heard someone say that we’re a product of our environments? What about the phrase, “You are who you hang out with”? For most of my college life, I’ve been absorbed in the studies of interpersonal communication and what our self-concept really means. I found it immensely interesting that our self-concept essentially suggests that we’re not solely who we are because of who we want to be, but we’re also who we are as a result of how we think other people perceive us. This brings me to the point of this article: If we don’t know our worth and stand by it, we base our worth on how we’re perceived and treated by others.
What is your worth?
Your worth isn’t based on what you do. It’s not even based on who you think you are or who others say you were or should be; your worth is based on who you are, a culmination of all the experiences you’ve ever had; the mistakes, the triumphs, the tears and the joys. For me personally, my worth comes from knowing I’m the daughter of a King. My relationship with my God gives me value just from knowing I am His. So many times we allow our notion of worth to revolve around what others say we should do or be. If we adopt the very idea that we’re worthless because we did or didn't do something in particular, we’d be in a never-ending cycle of regret and shame. We can’t earn our worth. It resides in us because of who we were created to be and no one and nothing can change that.
“Operate how you want to be, not who you are.”
It can be difficult at times to stay encouraged when all we seem to do is make mistakes. But realize that our worth doesn’t wane over time. Our worth can never devalue! We are meant to learn and grow, and most of all, progress. If you’re never heard of Trent Shelton and the topic of worth, value and healthy relationships is important to you, you should check him out. He posts weekly videos on Facebook as well that are encouraging and powerful. He spurts out many lines of wisdom that have impacted how I see my own worth. For example, “Operate how you want to be, not how you are.” This is especially important because if we’re living constantly in the grind of now, and forget to look ahead, then we lose sight of our potential strength that lies behind the struggles of today.
Your strength lies in your struggles
In a previous blog, I wrote on the importance of embracing emotions that aren’t typically desired. There’s growth in pain, sadness and other emotions we strive to avoid. If you look at the strong people that you admire, it’s unlikely that they’re people that have been untouched by struggles. It’s amazing that some individuals who have faced terrible tragedies are able to take that and use it. Our struggles aren’t meant to be destructive, but to be constructive. If we’re constantly focused on what our struggles take away instead of what they do give us, then we can never utilize them fully.
There’s purpose in people
Every person has a purpose. This may sound very Utopian and ideal, but it’s true. We should strive to see the purpose not only in ourselves, but in those in our lives. And as it’s been said, some people don’t have the purpose of standing by you through every hardship or during every joy in your life. Sometimes the people in your life are only there for a moment, but that doesn’t mean their impact is lessened. When you struggle to find purpose within yourself, always remember that just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Sometimes your purpose is to make an impact in someone else’s life, and you may not have even met that person yet. Regardless of what your purpose is, know that it’s not any less important than anyone else’s and it’s always there even when you can’t see or feel its presence.
I hope this is encouraging to someone who may be questioning their worth. It’s time to stop striving to be someone we are not meant to be and focus on who we already are and all of the opportunities we have and will be given to make an impact in our lives and in others’ lives.
