I unlocked the door to my apartment building and let it close behind me, and then I saw an acquaintance stumbling toward the door, clearly intoxicated. I unlocked the door and held it open for him so he could enter the building. He comes in. “Thanks, you’re hot,” he boldly blurts out. “Really? Are you serious?” I hastily reply in obvious annoyance. He replies “I don’t need your attitude, bitch.”

I don’t need his unwanted sexual advances to be a socially acceptable way of acting.

Welcome to rape culture.

This piece is not for the sexist oppressors who constantly berate females; this isn’t for the cat callers, or the gropers, or the online predators, or the rapists. It is for the men who do not necessarily contribute to the demeaning of women, but who simply do nothing to stop it. That encounter was especially impacting, not because of the gross, yet unsurprising behavior of the drunken acquaintance, but because of the bystanders who didn’t say anything.

There are the oppressed, the oppressors, and then there are the people who take no action at all. They witness the mistreatment of others, and they stay silent when the opportunity to intervene is presented.

Silence is the loudest thing you can say. The reality of rape culture has become so prominent in our society that is almost normalized, and that is the ultimate letdown.

This to all the innocent bystanders who chose to not intervene. because by witnessing the mistreatment and choosing to remain neutral, you are no longer innocent in the situation.

As social psychologist Philip Zimbardo said when talking about how easy it is for good people to do the wrong things. “Passive tolerance of evil through inaction, or indifference” is how inexcusable behavior develops.

Good people are capable of contributing to bad things by simply failing to stand up against injustice.

It is not about a man standing up for a woman; it is about a man standing against the man who is mistreating women, and teaching him that he will not be accepted if he decides to act that way.

This is for all the people who haven’t experienced some kind of sexual violence or aggression -- please stand with us anyways.

Be an ear to listen, a friend to confide in, an ally that stands with us, because ending rape culture and sexual violence will be a battle filled with countless different warriors. It will be an all-encompassing group of people that grows so large we become unstoppable. So when the next cat-caller prepares to whistle, they think twice, because the chance of offending more than just one person is too big of a risk to take.

The problem cannot even begin to be stopped until the oppressed become the majority, and being a predator becomes too treacherous because there are so many people always willing to stand up against the horrific behavior.

Recognize your privilege. If getting involved is a choice for you, then you are residing in a place of privilege. I have countless male friends who have said they didn't get involved because it would have been uncomfortable. Where they are uncomfortable, I am unsafe.

Acknowledge the privilege you hold, and decide to use it to make a positive impact on those who do not have that same privilege.

Please, do not remain neutral, do not chose to be silent.

As Desmond Tutu said, “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.”