In today's world, I think that we sometimes expect wonderful opportunities to fall in our laps. Unfortunately, that mentality is a sure way to make sure you never ever have any opportunities whatsoever. I learned this lesson the hard way, and miserably watched as everyone around me moved on to new chapters in their lives. I became a little bitter and just truly disappointed in the way my life was going. Eventually, it got so bad that I pretty much had a complete and total break down. But it took me hitting my lowest point to date in order to wake myself up.

Over the past year and a half, I have truly lost my identity in its entirety. Upon starting my freshman year, I stopped doing absolutely everything that made me who I am. I don't think I realized it until it was too late, and I had become so lost that I had to start from the beginning. I forgot the things that made me happy. I couldn't remember why I did the things I did in high school. It all just seemed clouded in my mind until I realized I had lost my core value: being productive.

This manifests itself in so many different ways. It could be me just getting up in the morning and getting my day started, it can be maintaining my physical fitness, it is me being involved and organizing events for other people. I stopped everything. I was vegetating in this limbo state where all I was doing was going to class and working on getting good grades. But even in that aspect, I didn't have a reason to work hard other than I felt like that was what I was supposed to do. There wasn't an end goal in mind. I was just going through the motions day in and day out.

Until I hit rock bottom. Then the skies cleared and I finally remembered the person I used to be. So I got up and started trying to make opportunities for myself to get back to that girl. I miss her, to be honest. I miss her confidence and her sense of purpose in her life. I think she knew something important that I had forgotten, but I am confident that I can become her once again. I can fill up this empty shell of a person with the life and exuberance that once existed in my heart.

The first thing I had to do was make a list of the things I used to do that made me happy. For me, that is: being involved, working out, being an active Christian, and doing the things that I love for relaxing: reading, hiking, creating art, etc. And then I started trying to do those things little by little, and it started helping. I am not saying I am back to where I was, however, I do know that I am making progress. And that is the message I am trying to express. You won't be okay in a day or a week or a month or even longer after you lose yourself, but you can take steps to help yourself get there. Get up and make it happen, because no one can or will do it for you. Take ownership of the person you want to be.