Divorce is obviously not something we like to talk about. Society has made divorce such a shameful action. But divorce happens. It’s a part of life. Things don’t always work. I’m not going to use this as a platform to talk about what reasons for divorce are good enough and what reasons aren’t. That really is none of my business. What I am going to say, though, is that I am grateful for divorce. Yes, you read that correctly. Shocking, I know.

Divorce is sad. I am not discrediting that by any means. It’s the end of something that you have known for some time. It means change for everyone involved, and change is hard. And for many children, it means they have to watch their parents go their separate ways.

Here’s where I take my issue with divorce. Parents are people, just like you and I. We often forget that our parents feel emotions as we do. In our eyes, most of us see parents as more than human. They know everything and help us and teach us and raise us. These things often make us forget that our parents go through difficulties, just as we do. They are there to pick up our pieces when things go wrong, but we don’t cut them any slack when things are not going right for them.

With that being said, I see so many kids making their parents divorce about themselves. As if their parents divorced to hurt them. I promise, that is the furthest thing from the truth. It is as if we think that our happiness ranks above our parents. Your mom and dad are people, too. They deserve to be happy, just as you do.

Again, I cannot stress enough that it is obviously difficult to come to terms with, but there is no need to hate your parents because they were no longer able to work it out or be happy together. Think about it in terms of yourself. You would not sacrifice your happiness and stay with someone that you did not want to be with. You only have one life, and so do your parents. Do you really want them to be unhappy for their entire life to spare your feelings? You grow to understand, and even if you do not see the meaning right now, you will. I don’t want to sound harsh, but if I have learned one thing, it’s that everyone deserves a chance to be happy, and if you aren’t happy, you have to do something about it.

The weird thing about it is that once it happens and you pay attention, you see what real happiness looks like. Your entire life you thought you knew what being happy was, and then all the sudden you see true happiness. If you’re really lucky, you get to witness it from the start and watch it grow. Without divorce, I would never see the happiness and love that I have the opportunity to see now. Plus, I cannot forget about all the wonderful people it has brought into my life.

I am not by any means glorifying divorce and giving up on working out your problems, but I am glorifying happiness. I am also not invalidating that there was happiness in marriage before divorce, but for whatever reason, that has been lost, and the happiness is not as present as it used to be.

Everyone deserves to be happy. Happiness takes time, understanding, and sacrifice. Ask any divorced parent if they wanted to hurt their children. The answer is always no and I guarantee that was their biggest concern. I would even bet they considered staying unhappy for your sake. As parents, though, sometimes they need you to see what true happiness looks like. Believe it or not, you model your behaviors and actions after your parents. You learn by watching them. They want you to know what true love looks like, even soul mates maybe.

It takes time, but as you grow up you begin to realize that your parent’s decisions and lives are just as important as yours. Happy parents means happy children. It is a wonderful feeling to know that your loved ones are happy. Give them the chance. Stop shaming your parents for changing the circumstances so they have a better shot at the happiest life they can live.