I competed on a synchronized figure skating organization from fourth grade to freshman year of high-school, but quit both synchro and solo skating after freshman year to focus on school and open more time availability for a job. Over time, I realized more and more how much I missed being on a team and rejoined the same organization my senior year of high-school.

There were a few girls on my team I was already friends with when I rejoined, but there were also an abundance of new faces. My team only had twelve girls on it, the bare minimum to be allowed to compete in competitions, with six of those girls cross-skating (also skating for another division in the organization). Including me, there were four senior girls, one twelve-year-old, and the rest fell in-between thirteen and fifteen. From the start of the season, cliques began to form. They were generally divided into three groups: the seniors, the cross-skaters, and the other younger girls.

Fights, gossip, and talking down to one another was very common to the point the organization had multiple talks with us about it. One time, the seniors were taken aside by a few parents and were told to have a talk with the rest of the team about respect, even after competition season had ended. Team dinners were divided as well. Everyone sat with their group and would barely acknowledge the other girls. Or, if they did, it was typically passive aggressive. Whenever someone felt left out, they would yell at the others for excluding them, which ended up creating more drama and building more resentment than anything.

It affected our performances too. Many of my former coaches always advocated how skating is a mental sport along with physical, and it really showed. If a girl made a mistake during the routine or accidentally ran into another, people would aggressively scream her name, even during an actual competition. People would try their best to make it more difficult for others to get their job done at practice too, intentionally skating too fast or cutting others off.

Having a divided team is one of the biggest disadvantages a team can give itself. Believe it or not, your attitude, confidence, and passion shows through in your performances. It was discouraging because everyone knew there was no turning back to being a “family” with one another, no matter how many speeches, meetings, and lectures we received.