Growing up in Miami, I thought I was living a very normal American life. This was a gross misconception.
I went away to a school in small-town North Carolina, and I discovered that Miami truly is some weird version of its own country. It's the furthest thing from “normal America.” It’s not just the 3:00 PM thunderstorms or dangerously terrible driving, it’s Miami's mix of cultures and customs that made the first couple of months away at college such a shock.
Here are some key things to take note of before you venture out of the sunshine state for an education:
1. Cuban time:
In Miami, you can show up anywhere between 15 minutes and two hours late and you still won’t be considered late because everyone is running on Cuban time. This, my friend, is not the case at your respective college. My very first day at Wake Forest, my hall was to have a meeting at exactly 8:00 PM in our lounge, literally 10 steps from my own front door. I left my room at 7:58, planning to be just one minute early, not too eager, but not late. I was the last person to enter the room. I held up the meeting. Apparently, 1 minute early is the new late. Leave your Cuban time tendencies at home, along with your love of things like Publix, Cuban coffee, pastelitos, croquetas, and so on.
2. Besitos:
How do you greet someone you know or introduce yourself to someone you don’t know in Miami? Un besito de saludos, or a little kiss on the cheek. This tradition of two people smacking their cheeks together and making a kissy sound is 100% a Miami thing. You will get called out for hundreds of “Miami things” while you are away at school...but please don’t let this be one of them, because it’s by far the most awkward for non-Miami natives. When greeting your new classmates and peers, either shake hands or wave from a safe distance of 3 to 5 feet away. The latter is usually the better option and, man, do I wish I was kidding.
3. Chancletas:
If you say “Where are my chancletas?” someone will literally respond: “What are those?!” You should start calling your good ole Havaianas flip flops, or more accurately, shower shoes. Your shower shoes will become your best friend, because they protect you from the dangers of your communal freshman bathroom. Don’t worry, I promise no one will hit you with one, not even your RA.
4. Pitbull:
No one, I mean no one, shares your love for Pitbull. They don’t care that he’s doing so much good for the patria. All they hear are some lyrics they don’t understand, “Mistah three oh fiiive,” and “Dale!” over and over again. Nevertheless, everyone will call you over to dance with you when Pitbull blares out of the speakers at a party. That, and Danza Kuduro. Be prepared.
5. Your accent:
You, although you had no clue, have an accent. In light of this brand new information, it is important that you are prepared to not take offense to certain questions and comments upon your arrival to campus. The first time someone asks you “What country are you from?” or “Wait, do you speak Mexican?” you will wonder what’s happening, because to you, it’s everyone else that sounds funny. Try not to descend into madness once you realize you’re legitimately Shit Miami Girls Say incarnate.
There are so many other situations you will inadvertently put yourself in as the token Miami friend: teaching your roommate their first Spanish curse words, an altercation with a few choice words said about your HEAT boys and LeBron, not knowing how to say something in English (liga, anyone?), shopping in a grocery store that’s not Publix for the first time, and so much more…
But I’ll let you figure those moments out on your own. What’s college without a few que pena moments anyway?
