One of the toughest parts of going off to college, especially if you’re going somewhere far away, is leaving behind loved ones at home. You know you’ll see them all again, but you also know that your relationships with them will be different. For me, one of the hardest goodbyes was to my siblings. I was the first child to leave for college and I had no idea how my absence would affect them and my friendships with them. Looking back now, almost a year since I left for school, I realize that I am actually even closer with my siblings now than when I left. Being far away from them has strengthened our bond, rather than breaking it down.
But how did this happen? Why does distance make the heart grow fonder? In my experience, a big part of it was recognizing all the support I received from my family as I started a brand new, kind of scary chapter in my life. Especially in the fall when I arrived at my new home and didn’t know anyone, I had to rely on my old home for all of the love and encouragement I needed.
I also think my leaving for college pushed my siblings and I into more mature, complex relationships with each other, a process that I’ve really enjoyed. I like that I’ve discovered I can talk to my siblings now about topics that were previously ignored or even off-limits because we were younger and hadn’t experienced as much. My thirteen-year-old brother will talk about girls with me now? Finally, I can give him all the dating advice he needs! Individual people and their relationships with each other are always gradually maturing, but there are certain events and periods of life that really galvanize this process, and college is certainly one of them.
Another perk of more mature relationships with my siblings (or maybe it’s just because I’m usually not home…) is less bickering! The little issues that naturally came up between kids sharing the same household space — stolen belongings, unfair dessert portions, board game disagreements, etc. — have disappeared. For the most part, at least. We recognize that it’s a waste of our now-limited time together to fight with one another (but seriously, Analisa, please stop taking my clothes).
Instead, we now try to use our time together to the fullest. Not only is there an endless supply of thoughts, ideas, and stories we haven’t shared with each other because we were apart, but there’s also a long list of things we want to do now that we’re together again. For me, this includes a wide variety of activities including trips to several restaurants with my sister and watching "Finding Nemo" for what I think might actually be the one millionth time with my brother. Before I left, we felt like we could always just put these things off and leave them for a different day. Now, my siblings and I are more motivated to do things together, big or small, quick or time-consuming, before time runs out and I go back to school.
As much as I sometimes wish I could spend more time with them, I know the new, long-distance relationships I have with my brother and sister are making us into more caring, mature siblings and people. Being apart from them made me realize, more than I ever did when we all lived together, how important they are to who I am. I feel so grateful to know that I have two people who have been there and will be there for the rest of my life as my cheerleaders, my role models, and my best friends.
