Disney World sucks. It is not the happiest place on Earth, dreams do not come true here, there is no magic, it is actually one of the worst places ever. Ok listen up nimrods before you start attacking me because I have just committed an act of treason and betrayed some cult following of a mouse. Literally you guys are in love with a mouse. Anyways though I love Disney movies, Disney shows, Disney songs, pretty much anything Disney besides Disney World.

I have gone to Disney World like 6 times with my family probably, I don't actually know for sure because I stopped keeping track after the fourth time. My parents are one of those weird couples who love it here some unknown reason. Maybe it's because their childhood was robbed of Disney World or because they somehow still believe our family consists of elementary schoolers, I don't know and I don't actually care that much. We've gone so many times that this place lost all of it's specialness and magic. This isn't a "once in a lifetime trip that I'll never forget" because we've come here like every year. It's lowkey annoying.

Anyways here is why I can't stand this stupid little Castle and it's Golf Ball, weird fake Tree, a giant Hat, and those two stupid water slides.

1. It's stuffed to the max like a thanksgiving turkey full of sweaty, loud, creeps.

Vacation is supposed to be a time for relaxing and unwinding. Good luck doing that here because theres seventy million languages being screamed out among the 90 billion families running in between each other. You're going to get hit by at least 10 strollers every hour, and get separated from your family at least once a day.

2. It's hotter than two goats in a pepper patch.

I don't know why good ole Walt thought it would be cute to create a giant asphalt field in the middle of a dang swamp but he did. The humidity is like 100% so you're actually swimming through the air, which is probably so dang humid from all the sweat falling off people. Not to mention it's also in Florida, which is already a wasteland of heat so it easily gets to 100 degrees and I'm sorry but that is not relaxing what so ever.

3. A pretzel is the cost of my college tuition.

Ok not really but everything here is so dang expensive. Why? Literally why? There is actually no reason for a 500% markup on a coke bottle because 1. Disney World is like the most famous amusement park in the World, 2. You're Disney World and are already rich as crap. Stop robbing me of all my money and shoving your lies of happiness down my throat. The only happy person here is your wallet because it's getting fatter by the second.

4. You can't take a second to breathe.

Seriously though the point of vacation is actually to unwind. There's no unwinding here. Every second its go go go go to beat the other 99 families running to the same place so that you can wait 60 minutes to get on a ride instead of 65. It's annoying, stressful, and downright stupid.

Sure Disney is great the first time and everyone should experience it. When I was 5 this place was heaven. Plus yah so many memories and smiles and pictures to hang up and post on facebook, but what you never see is the bloody screams of toddlers, parents bickering while they shower the black asphalt with their sweat. You never see the strollers crashing into each other like nascar, or the lines wrapped around the building to see some rando in a chipmunk costume. You never see the receipts that say $7.89 for a 20oz coke bottle. Do yourself a favor and take your kids to go see the actual world not a made up lie. Walt Disney once said "I don't much like formal gardens, I prefer wild nature" idk maybe take your kids to see America the Beautiful and not the same castle for the 80th time.