There’s a lot of body positivity around us. ‘BoPo’ communities are growing every day, and every new person who gets involved has something new, that none of us had ever so much as thought of before. It’s exciting, we are entering a time of self love. A period where it is not only okay, but encouraged for women, and all people, to admit all the wonderful things about themselves, and love themselves. It’s not egotistical to think that you’re great anymore, it’s important. It’s widely accepted as something that we should all be doing.
There is however something that needs to be addressed within the Body Positivity community. That something is disability.
Disability isn’t rare. According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly 1 in 5 Americans have a disability. Imagine yourself and four other people standing in a room. You probably have more people than that in your group of friends, or in your family. Statically speaking, one of you is a person with a disability.
A disability is classified by the Oxford dictionary as a physical or mental condition that limits a person’s movements, sense, or activities. By this definition, people with disabilities are defined as some limit in their ability, something that they cannot do. In more colloquial terms, a physical disability entails a body that does not do everything it is supposed to do.
Bodies aren’t perfect. That’s the first thing we learn from body positivity, that we should love our bodies, in spite of and because of their flaws. They will have stretch marks, bumps, pimples, and parts of skin that don’t quite match the rest. They will be entirely unique, like a tiger’s stripes, and they will be completely our own. We should embrace our bodies imperfections, because they make our bodies real, tangible, and normal by their abnormalities.
Is this any different for a body that has a disability? No, it’s not. As a person with a disability, or an able-bodied person, sometimes your body will fail you. It will fall when you ask it to run, it will tremble when you ask it for steadiness, it will catch a cold when you most need it to be well. That is the nature of being the proud owner of a body. It’s not infallible. It’s not unchanging. It is susceptible to change, and failure in the same way that anything that is living is susceptible to these things. It is alive.
Do you hate anything that fails? No. You might get a little frustrated when your computer doesn’t turn on properly the first time you try, but you give it more chances, and you continue to use it day in and day out. When your mobile phone glitches, you try the standard practice of turning it off, tapping your foot impatiently for 5-10 seconds, and then turning it right back on again. A slightly crude metaphor perhaps, but it’s kind of like going to sleep after a bad day, and trying to start fresh, and enjoy a better one in the morning.
Step away from the technology, and apply the same thing to the people around you. Do you hate your mother, for the one time she dropped and smashed a glass? No, you give her more chances, because, just like you, she isn’t perfect, and the fact that she has made a mistake doesn’t make you love her any less. Do you hate your father for burning a piece of toast? No, because the fact that he made a mistake only means that he is living, and he is not immune to failing, just like everything else that is living is not immune to failing.
Humans are capable of forgiveness. We can forgive the inanimate objects in our houses, and our best friends, and our families, and, whilst it seems to be just a little bit harder to manage, we can also forgive ourselves.
Whether your body has a disability, or is able, it is trying it’s best. It is living. It is changing, and sometimes it is falling down. It is doing everything it can to help you. Love it. Let yourself love it. A body that sometimes fails you still deserves your love.
