Dating. Probably one of the trickiest, most confusing and complicated obstacles of life. To some, it is a dreaded trap toward commitment. To others, it is what they want most besides a new car. Yet the most difficult part is finding the right person among the millions and millions of people out there.
It shouldn't be too hard, right? You might say, I have many choices and if I look nice every day then someone nice will come my way! I guess you can say that as you continue to read magazines or the latest online article about "How to get a guy to notice you." For the ladies who have a man and are reading magazine articles with titles like, "Is he cheating?" or "How to spice up your relationship," this is for you too. However, I want to give you what I believe to be "effective" relationship advice. If you're the kind of person who wants a good relationship, you've come to the right place.
Oh, and to establish my credibility, I am currently in a long term/long distance relationship. I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years and he currently goes to the University of Oregon. We've been doing this long distance thing for a year now. It isn't easy, and yes, it sucks at times.
Let's get started! Here are three tips for singles and couples.
Couples:
1. It's OK to be apart
One of the biggest problems in a relationship is getting lost in the relationship. It'll be no longer you and your significant other but you-and-your-significant-other. You'll spend so much time with your significant other that your friends cringe and stop inviting you to hangouts. Eventually, you'll find yourself without friends.
Don't do that! You have to have lives outside of each other. Otherwise you can possibly get bored of each other quicker. Being away from each other makes for great conversations at the end of the day when you call your S.O. If your significant other is clingy and doesn't allow you to hang out with other people, you should reevaluate your relationship. I understand the struggle of not talking to your S.O. all the time, but honestly, it's not healthy to just talk to one person all the time. Expand your horizons! Good friends make good memories.
2. Trust
The biggest lesson I learned in having a long distance relationship is trust. Even if you aren't in a long distance relationship, this is still important. I know you may think, It's not that I don't trust them -- I just don't trust the people around them. Honey, stop there. If you think that your boyfriend would hook up with any girl that threw herself at him then you should break up right now. You deserve someone who is so focused on you that no girl can take your place. Yes, ladies, there are guys like that out there. Guys, treat girls as such -- they're not toys you can play with until they break, and then easily replace with a new one.
3. Enough with open relationships!
I will never, ever understand open relationships or "breaks." Honestly, they're dumb. They never end well, one person gets hurt tremendously and it's practically agreeing to cheat on each other. I think the best way to take a break from someone is to do things by yourself, not to find someone else. Getting together with someone else will only cause long term complications.
Now, Single Pringles!
1. Get out there
Make the most out of your life! You can't expect Mr. Perfect to come waltzing through your door with flowers, teddy bears and chocolates. He'll come when the time is right, and I know that is a cliché saying but it's true. So in the meantime, do something! Do things that you have never tried before, because once you're in a relationship it can be tough. You won't have as much freedom with your time as you do when you're single. So if you get invited to kickbacks, parties, etc., just go!
2. Do it for yourself
This is the time you indulge yourself with good food, shopping and traveling. When you're in a relationship, you don't necessarily have to get your S.O. things all the time, but it becomes expected and a courteous thing to do. I am not saying to unwisely splurge your savings, but occasionally you should get that nice top you saw at that one store, or that cup of frozen yogurt after class. You take care of you.
Finally, the most important piece of advice:
3. Be happy without
Before I met my boyfriend, I had this amazing time of being very content with being single. For five months I was chilling, hanging out with my friends and having a great junior year; then, before I knew it, I met him. Those five blissful months I had is something I want all single people to reach in their life. The moment they realize that they don't need anyone to be happy. If you need an S.O. to be happy, you really need to check yourself and make some changes. If you feel lonely, make a friend! If you want chocolates and roses, have your best friend buy them for you! Best friends help a fellow best friend out. Either way, get to that place, because your life shouldn't be wasted on waiting.
