Being lonely is a state of mind. Being alone is a state of being.

Being lonely is longing. It’s that spot on the back of your neck that tingles from the disappearing touch. It’s the words echoing in the back of your brain that you try to hold on to. It’s the strand of hair dangling in your face that is used to being brushed behind your ear for you.

Being lonely is pain. It’s that song that comes on randomly that takes you back for a moment, wondering if you should skip it or if you are strong enough to face its three minutes of torture. It’s the heaviness you have to carry around with you like a dumbbell in your backpack. It’s the monotony of your day.

But being alone is much different.

Being alone is blissful. It’s cooking some pasta for yourself and being impressed this time with the taste of the extra dash of garlic powder. It’s cutting up an apple and putting the tiny chunks into a glass of red wine and calling it sangria. It’s drinking this homemade sangria late one night while blasting your favorite songs.

Being alone is calming. It’s going to a restaurant and smiling as the hostess asks you, “table for one?” and treating yourself to a meal. It’s drinking three cups of coffee and knocking out your to-do list for the day. It’s a Saturday night where you are plan-less, and travel to the movie theatre to enjoy a small popcorn and your own company.

Because being alone is OK.

It takes a special kind of person to need and love their alone time. Those who always need to be around others, though they may seem to have a never-ending friend supply, are the truly lonely ones. These people are too lonely to find peace within themselves, and can not be alone for a mere second without needing company.

Without company, they suffocate.

And sometimes you are lonely in the absence of a certain person. Yes, these nights are the hardest. But on these nights, you must try to convert your loneliness into aloneness. Look around you and make the best of what you have. Treat yourself to a meal or a movie or just take a walk to clear your mind. Learn to love yourself.

The best way to learn to love yourself is to spend some time with the one person you are stuck with your entire life — you.

So go out and be alone. Or stay in and be alone. Appreciate your alone time because it is precious.

“It is easier, of course, to find dignity in one’s solitude. Loneliness is solitude with a problem.” —Maggie Nelson, "Bluets"

Find your solitude. Cherish it. Don’t give your solitude the chance to have a problem. Don’t turn your solitude into loneliness, but rather, find ways to do the opposite.

And when you do, you will be quite happy indeed. And, remember, loneliness fades. Though it hurts, sometimes very badly, it will go away. And you will once again be able to appreciate your solitude.