Not that very many people on campus have noticed, but I've been sick for the past two-and-a-half weeks. I have been so sick that I have found that it has affected me in terms of how I think. I look back now and wonder how I even got through midterms week. I descended so far into this infection that I am now fighting off that my whole outlook on what may be considered my "Week from Hell" has been one of pessimism and getting by.
It is likely that I have been infected with some strain of Staph or MRSA, a pretty serious thing considering that I am a Diabetic. Being the breeding ground of the bacteria, one part of my body has swollen to the size of a silver dollar. Over the week running up to and including midterms week, I was running a low-grade fever, had pressure in my eyes and head, was the most sluggish that I've ever been in my life, was dehydrated, and also could say that I was fairly incoherent. Before I started the antibiotics, the fairest thing for me to say was that I felt like "utter shit."
However, this article is not a ground to talk about my symptoms that were akin to dying or to talk about how I felt as compared to others who were "struggling" with their papers. Except, I do want to talk about others who are now having the times of their lives in Mexico or some other sun-bathed paradise while I am here and dealing with an injury that probably won't heal even in a month.
It's puerile and stupid for me to try and comfort myself by attacking others' lifestyle. If anything, I caused this hardship by not taking care of myself. Even still, I got the unnerving sense last week that nobody among my peers saw that anything was wrong. Again, maybe that is the pessimism coming out. To tell the truth, I was too focused on surviving the week to really care about others showing "concern."
Two individuals (who will remain anonymous) that I remember wishing me some good maybe knew that I was sick, but I could tell in their voices that they could've cared less. To me, they were just those people in power who care about their image and who were just making a show of faux concern. Perhaps I'm being a hard-ass and demonstrating an unfruitful skepticism, but I found their attempt at unproductive small-talk to be frustrating and sad.
What does it mean to keep others in perspective? It's simply saying that you should just be normal towards others. "Normal" may be a relative term, but it is a different word than "acting." Those two individuals, and others who have already lauded their spring break experiences as if they are the only ones who could have them, have the air of acting. The point is that if you act, at least act genuinely.
