Dieting, As Explained By "Mean Girls" | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Dieting, As Explained By "Mean Girls"

You can't sit with us.

Taylor Bradburn
Dec 01, 2015
University of Michigan
103
Dieting, As Explained By "Mean Girls"

It’s about the time of year again. You’ve just returned to campus from a weekend filled with outlandish amounts of turkey, stuffing, and awkward questions from your extended family about your social life. You've eaten more than you ever imagined possible while studying for those pre-break exams and while you are slightly proud of your accomplishments, your jeans are starting to fit a little snugger.

It is a habitual occurrence that happens around the holidays. With the holidays come family, with family comes drinking and eating, and with drinking and eating comes having to wear sweatpants.

But never fear, you’re not alone in this quest for the ultimate spring break bod and here is dieting explained by "Mean Girls."

You wake up this morning and you know what day it is, D(iet)-Day.

Last night after binge eating an entire bag of Cheetos Puffs that it's probably time for a change.

For breakfast you trade in your strawberry Poptart for something a little less chemically altered and riddled with sugar.

You made it through your classes and only considered quitting 47 times, a new record.

You find yourself at the library starting some homework when suddenly your mind wanders.

You start to daydream of cream puffs and pizza

You push the fantasies away and try to continue with your Spanish actividades when suddenly you get tapped on your shoulder.


“Hello! We’re in the Green club at UMich. Would you like a free donut and to hear a little about the club?”

Suddenly you are set into an irrational blind rage about this free donut.

WHY TODAY OF ALL DAYS AM I BEING OFFERED A DONUT? TWO WEEKS AGO WHEN ALL I WANTED WAS CHIPLOTE AND ONLY HAD 37 CENTS ON MY DEBIT CARD THERE WERE NO FREE DONUTS.

But you realize it’s just the hanger talking and you politely say no to the temptress and her Green club.


Packing up for the night you realize you made it almost 13 hours without consuming any junk food.

How good does a snack sound?

You've been hard at work all night while your friends we're all at Skeeps... Suddenly you're starting to convince yourself that you’ve earned a snack and Insomnia is on the way home...

Yes

No

YES!


Well there is always tomorrow..

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

AI music threatens creativity

The Soul of Sound: How AI Challenges Human Expression in Music

250954
Humans and robots face off in a rock band battle with guitars and drums, under dynamic lighting.
StableDiffusion

In an age where artificial intelligence can mimic the voice of Freddie Mercury or reimagine pop hits as synthwave ballads, a new frontier has emerged — one that blurs the line between innovation and erosion. While AI offers undeniable benefits in technical domains, its intrusion into creative arts, especially music, raises urgent questions. Not just about copyright, but about culture, education, and the very soul of artistic expression.


Keep Reading...Show less
ai generated music
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

Miami University
582208
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
music
Entertainment

Why Your Astrological Sign May Not Match Your Personality

We are all more than just one sign.

SUNY Plattsburgh
495744
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
astrology
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

UNC Greensboro
470745
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
spring
Relationships

The Importance Of Being A Good Person

An open letter to the good-hearted people.

Sacred Heart University
737212
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less
good person

Trending Topics

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments