Premarital sex
Start writing a post

Odyssey sees a lot of articles urging young adults, women especially, to wait for marriage before having sex. I figured I'd throw my two cents into the conversation.

I believe everyone needs to define for themselves their attitude towards sex. Is it for relationships only? Is it for marriage? Are one night stands OK? Or is sex not something I'm interested in at all? Every answer to those questions is completely valid and normal. Everyone deserves to have their choices about their sex life respected, so long as everything they do is consensual and safe.

Me? I love sex. I'd have it all day if I could. I love rough sex and I love lovey-dovey sex. I love vanilla sex and I love the wilder stuff too. Mostly I love how fun and silly it can be! I have started giggling about memes mid-sexual-activities more times than I can count. I love the connection I feel with my partner and the vulnerability and intimacy.

I have not given away any piece of myself just by having sex.

I've certainly made some decisions I regret in retrospect, but just like with all things in life, sometimes we have to make mistakes to figure out what really works for us. The way I see it, I've gained something, I've gained a way for me to receive pleasure and give pleasure to someone else. I've gained a way to appreciate my body, to explore my body, enjoy an activity that so many of our animal cousins enjoy too. There is nothing shameful about sex!

Science does not in any way support the notion that having sex outside of a committed relationship is, in itself, unhealthy. Proponents of encouraging others to wait for marriage often cite what they find to be concrete reasons why premarital sex hurts women emotionally. You know what really hurts women emotionally? Men who do not respect their rights to their body and their choices, men who don't stick by the women they commit too, men who prioritize their own pleasure over their partner's. When we assume that this is just how sex is for young women, we are turning a blind eye to the specific behaviors that make many young women's' first sexual experiences less than magical, sometimes causing them to have long-term trust and intimacy issues. These guys need to be held accountable, not let off the hook as if that's just how all young men act.

It was those partners who caused emotional pain by mistreating, cheating, or degrading, not sex itself. Sex is just an act, neither inherently good nor bad, and context is everything.

Sure, sex causes all sorts of neurotransmitters to be released, as does being romantically in love, but those chemicals don't dictate your feelings. We aren't slaves to our dopamine or oxytocin levels. Having sex with someone doesn't form some sort of intense bond. Heck, most of the people I've had sex with I haven't heard from in a year, at least. I don't mind at all! A lot of people could never imagine being ok with that, but that's because their personal views towards sex are different than mine. That's totally chill!

My point is that everyone is different and if we could just refrain from judging each other, or better yet, celebrate our differences, the world would be a much better place. If you are waiting for marriage, I 100% support you in your choice! That's awesome! All I ask is that you respect mine and not insert your beliefs in my personal life.

Report this Content

That's right, you heard that correctly: Demi Lovato and Max Ehrich called off their engagement after the couple originally announced their engagement in July after beginning to date in March.

Keep Reading... Show less

Demi Lovato's Called-Off Engagement Reminds Us Of The Importance Of Taking Our Time In Relationships

While this may be another hardship she sadly has to endure, I know she will find a way to inspire and help others through it.


I am heartbroken.

Keep Reading... Show less

Freshly popped buttered popcorn in your lap and a glass full of crisp Coca-Cola is at your side. All the lights are turned off and you are tucked into a cozy blanket. You have the whole day off and no responsibilities besides refilling your popcorn bucket. Now all you have to do is decide on what movie to watch, but you know one movie will not fulfill your need of relaxing all day. A movie marathon is the only answer to your problem. In case you did not know what movie series to start with, try a few of these.

Keep Reading... Show less
A Touch Of Teal

It's the oldest story in the world: one day a new tv show comes on and you fall in love with each character and their story. In 2003, the show "One Tree Hill" was born and stole the hearts of fans of many ages. Torn between the sweet, underdog Lucas and tough, popular boy Nathan, people became hooked through the family and relationship drama the characters went through.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

12 Starbucks Iced Drinks You NEED In Your Life

Must-try beverages brought to you by your local barista.


Be kind to your baristas, they can make you some pretty great drinks. With the temperature rising and the days getting longer, it's approaching the time to find your summer staple to keep you cool (and caffeinated) over the next few months.

Keep Reading... Show less

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" is coming to an end after 20 seasons of intense drama, family bonding, and Scott Disick. It's sad for some and a relief for others who find the show way overhyped.

Keep Reading... Show less

Starbucks is known for its infamous coffee and espresso drinks, but they're definitely isn't enough love shown for the non-coffee drinks. Being a barista myself, I've come to try all of the following drinks. And let me tell you…they're amazing. So if you aren't a huge fan of coffee or if you're just sick of the same old same old, here are some new drinks to keep your inner white girl alive and thriving.

SEE MORE: Starbucks Has Chocolate-Covered Strawberry Cold Brew And OMG It Has Pink Foam

Keep Reading... Show less

What was usually buried at the bottom of my purse has now become a pocket essential — and I know I'm not alone in that.

It used to be something I'd use if I happened to be at a restaurant that ran out of soap in their bathroom, but now it's almost more essential to have on-hand at all times than my cell phone.

Keep Reading... Show less

The decision-makers of Yale's law students have invested in therapy dog sessions in order to reduce stress. In 2011, Yale Law Library had a sign-out sheet for their certified library dog. The 30-minute sessions were equipped with unconditional, stress-busting puppy love.

Law Librarian Blair Kauffman stated that the free, three-day pilot pet therapy program at Yale Law Library launched as "a positive addition to current services offered by the library."

Keep Reading... Show less

I have been working at Dunkin' Donuts for over two years, and during this time, I have progressed from regular crew member to crew coach, and finally, to shift leader. Among my great skills involving the job is my ability to deal with stressful situations, including awful customers. My boss has continuously pointed out the fact that I am able to handle these people with grace and kindness. She herself often finds that she gets snippy with rude customers, but somehow I am able to keep a straight face through these tough times.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments