On December 22nd, 2015 I was involved in a car accident that was caused by a drunk driver.
It was a 4-car accident that left me with nothing but car scraps that were sold to a junkyard and serious, serious anxiety. The physical pain I endured still sometimes affects me, but the anxious feeling is something I have had ever since -- and it is hard to get rid of.
I have always been a worrier, but anxiety was never something I had to deal with.
Luckily, the accident was at the best time it possibly could’ve happened because I still had about 2 and ½ weeks before school started again and I could just relax, which was nice.
The accident I was involved in really has changed my life. It has shown me that one decision can affect numerous lives. Having to call my parents while in an ambulance receiving medical attention is not something I thought I’d be doing on my Christmas break.
My friend and I were just going to my old high school’s basketball game, but instead, we were halted in our tracks. Sometimes our direction in life changes. Maybe it’s changed by something small, or maybe by something rather big, like this accident, but what I do know is that God was changing the course of my life to lead me to where I am supposed to be.
I am still suffering every day with anxiety, to the point where I don’t want to get out of bed, see my friends or even go to school.
It’s hard, very hard, but I know it will get better.
I didn’t think I’d be here last year… I didn’t think I’d be in a car accident that changed my life. But, it has given me a few great things to appreciate. While it was a traumatic situation for an 18-year-old to experience, it has helped me to appreciate life more.
The officers told me (but probably shouldn’t of) that when they pulled up on the scene, they didn’t think I would have made it, let alone just hurting my arm.
This experience has also shown me who my true friends are. There are many friends that I had during the time of the accident that reached out to me and made sure I was okay. Many of those people are not my friends anymore. Sure, they cared when it happened, but they didn’t care enough to realize that, yes, the accident is in the past, but the pain will still be with me for awhile, whether it is physical, mental or emotional.
“You’ve been acting different, that’s why we haven’t been inviting you to things.”
Yes, I have been acting different, I still have trouble getting into my car sometimes, even if it’s just driving to school or the store. It scares me. Yes, I have been acting different, sometimes I don’t want to talk to my friends or anyone for that matter. Sometimes I don’t want to get out of bed.
It’s hard to make someone understand what you’re going through, and sometimes it’s not worth it.
I really didn’t think I’d be here this year, I really didn’t think I’d find someone who loves me unconditionally until this September. Anxiety had stripped me of having a fun summer vacation and to top it all off, my boyfriend left me. Sometimes I’m still not sure if it’s because of how anxiety had changed me, or if it was for another reason, but it happened.
But this was just God changing the direction of my life, pointing me down a better path.
I met someone who encourages me and helps me grow. Someone who tells me I am more than my anxiety and helps me realize it. Someone who even makes me forget about my anxiety; someone who makes everything better.
I didn’t think I’d be here last year, I thought I had it all planned out.
But sometimes, your path has to change for you to realize you had it all wrong. And it’s okay to have it all wrong sometimes, because eventually, you’ll figure it out.
As the one-year anniversary of the accident is nearing, I have many things to be grateful for, including God directing me to a new path, and showing me I am strong enough to take it.
