Mental illnesses have always come with a stigma. People don't understand it unless they have it; and even if they have it, most times their situation is different than yours. There's that mindset that people have, too, that unfortunately dominates much of our society: If you can't see the illness, then it surely doesn't exist. They tell you it's in your head. You're just having a bad day. Tomorrow will be better.
It's hard to think tomorrow will be better, though, if you're not even sure you'll survive today.
It's hard when you know what's happening to you and there's nothing you can do to stop it. It's like there's this little person sitting in the way of your thoughts, picking and choosing which ones get sent to the brain. Of course, they always choose the bad ones: The "what's the point?" and the "It'd be so easy to just end it all now." And they keep picking, and you can't do anything to stop it, until those thoughts are the only "rational" ones you are having.
It's exhausting, quite frankly, to try and fight those thoughts. It's
much easier to accept them, to let them take over. Fighting takes too
much energy and even though you want so desperately to be happy - and
the worst part is that you KNOW you can be happy - it's easier to accept
that this depression is the only way.
It's hard when you know that there's nothing "wrong." It's hard to be so sad and hopeless, to be just so numb and cold sometimes, when you know, rationally, that there is "no reason to be." You may have everything going for you; you may have great friends and family, you may be doing amazing in school or at work, but that doesn't mean depression can't affect you. Depression doesn't play by your rules; it has its own book and it certainly doesn't consult you before it starts throwing out the plays.
Depression is a real thing. Mental illness is a real thing. People need to remember that and need to remember when a person is depressed, telling them all the good things they have going on, telling them that they could have it worse, telling them that there's no reason to be so sad, it just makes it worse. You're making somebody who wants to feel anything but depressed even worse about themselves. They start taking on guilt for making people worry about them; they start trying to hide it because they don't want to be judged or feel like a burden.
When dealing with a depressed person - and I flinch when I say "dealing" because that's not fair - just be understanding. Sit down next to them, hold their hand. Let them cry. Hell, encourage it. Patiently and gently, if you can, help them try to explain how their feeling and let them know that, even if you don't understand, that you're going to try to. Make sure they know that you're there for them. That's all we want, honestly, to hear someone say, "I love you and I'm here no matter what." You don't have to understand what someone is going through to be good to them.
A depressed person usually knows they're depressed, and I'd say about 98 percent of the time, they want to be anything but that. They are fighting a daily battle that no one else can see to just make it to the next day. Unfortunately, it's a lot harder to be happy than people think. People don't choose depression. There's some chemical imbalance or something going on in their brain that they have little say over. It's hard to fight your brain and thoughts - everybody knows that feeling.
But it is possible. Slowly but surely, one day at a time, it becomes something that you can deal with. And it helps to have someone there to help you along the way. Depression isn't a choice. Sadness or numbness aren't feelings that anyone wants to have, and the bravest battle someone will fight is against themselves.
Hang in there and be nice to one another.
