They say the universe loves paradoxes. Many learn to appreciate the allure in the yin-and-yang that propagates itself within our everyday lives. How would you feel, however, if you yourself resembled a sort of living paradox? Misunderstood? Disoriented? Divisive? Diffident? Trapped? Condemned? Illegitimate? Backwards? Plain confused? Many who have both depression and anxiety at once endure these harsh feelings constantly, forced to battle a ferocious vortex within them, yanking them from one direction to the next with little means of self-defense.
To put this into better perspective, I’d first like to release all stigmas that inextricably, and unfortunately, have come to frame anxiety and depression, along with other mental illnesses. I understand that we as a society have (mostly) made headway in moving past the misconception that mental illness is entirely false and primarily brought upon by means of seeking attention. Many now acknowledge that while this is the case occasionally, the majority of people claiming to have a mental illness are justified. However, a concept that many still fail to comprehend, is that mental illness is not merely a symptom of one’s personality or a self-imposed problem that can easily be resolved once a minor error in ways in reversed. While traits of one’s personality or self-created habits can certainly exacerbate an issue, the sole cause is almost always a product of numerous layers.
Mental illness is born through a combination of biological, neurochemical, and environmental influences. For example, it is easy to see how an event such as the death of a loved one could lead to the emotions of both anxiety and depression. Hypothetically speaking, the anxiety aspect could be promoted by a fear of continuing life without that person’s support or a sudden realization of the inevitability of death. On the other hand, the aspect of depression could be promoted by the hard process of grieving and that bereaved, longing feeling for the company of the deceased. However, these feelings are all quite typical, people without mental illness included. If these feelings are prolonged and become more generalized overtime, there could be biological or neurochemical factors at play.
(I like to emphasize the presence of neurochemical problems and the genetic component to delineate the corporeal, concrete elements that constitute mental illness. For some, it can be hard to understand something that cannot be physically identified.) An anxiety disorder is typically a result of imbalances or deficiencies in neurotransmitters (chemical messengers in the brain) such as gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), serotonin, dopamine, and epinephrine. Similarly, depression and other types of depressive mood disorders are usually a result of imbalances or deficiencies in serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. Seeing how both disorders can develop as a result of abnormalities involving some of the same neurotransmitters, it becomes clearer on how and why these two disorders often work in conjunction with one another.
The definition of clinical depression, according to The Mayo Clinic, is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Conversely, generalized anxiety disorder is a disorder that causes excessive, ongoing anxiety and worry that interferes with day-to-day activities. Of course, there are some shared manifestations of both depression and anxiety. Insomnia, loss of appetite, continuous fatigue, decreased level of concentration, social isolation, obsessive thoughts, and reduced self-esteem are just a few. While depression and anxiety can both target one’s life by leaving them feeling hopeless, powerless, and debilitating them from operating at normal and productive levels, they affect one from what seems like completely opposing arenas. When one is depressed, they feel as though life isn’t worth living, that nothing has meaning to them, and often times will feel unfulfilled regardless of what they’re doing. When one has an anxiety disorder, they frequently anticipate worse-case scenarios, experience restlessness and hypervigilance, and feel an overwhelming sense of dread that anything and everything will go wrong. It may seem strange that the same person who is unable to derive any sense of purpose from their life, may also be battling sustained and paralyzing fear that something terrible will happen to them, and potentially ruin the life they could find no motivation to live in the first place. A paradox.
Most experts claim that depression and anxiety “go hand in hand”. When we look at environmental, neurochemical, and biological aspects, depression and anxiety seem to link together seamlessly like pieces of a puzzle. Nevertheless, when we look at how they simultaneously impact one’s life, it can be hard to grasp, even for the person facing it. It can present itself in a variety of ways, minor or major. It may be a person with no energy to keep up with their hygiene or keep themselves looking tidy, but an irrepressible fear of what others will think of it. It could be someone who has no motivation to complete their work for school or their job, but is filled with absolute dread when faced with the concept of missing a deadline or failing. It may be one who does not see any value in their life, but becomes immensely anxious with even the slightest feeling of sickness, immediately assuming the worst. It may be one who is bored and uninterested in almost every social situation, but is overcome with an enormous wave of panic whenever in crowded areas. It could be the person grudgingly going through the colorless motions of their life, while incessantly wracking their brain over every negligible detail.
Depression and anxiety overtly contradict one another. Their nefarious scheme may further muddle the brain of the person suffering, and perpetuate confusion among those trying to help them. Although depression and anxiety can create some internal disarray and may leave one feeling like an enigma, it’s essential to one’s recovery to acknowledge that it’s not as abnormal as it may seem, and there are valid reasons behind feeling the way they do. If it is true that the universe loves paradoxes, then it is certainly possible to defy the nature of our universe and overcome one.
