Living in an area where the military base is the center of attention you tend to do on a couple of dates with those fellas. Or, in some cases, you may even be in a serious relationship with one (like me), or even at that point where you have been married for 25 years with your spouse being an active military member.
If you do not have trust you don't have anything.
Tough to hear, tougher to say.
Both, not just one has to be able to be transparent to each other and be able to demonstrate that they are going to be faithful during the time of being apart from one another.
"God has plans and He will provide both of us strength when needed. I will always be there with her (his girlfriend) in both her heart and mind no matter what."
Quoted from: LCPL Junker who is about to leave for K9 training, while being in a serious relationship.
2. Learn to communicate
Communication is key.
If you are not able to communicate with someone due to limited access, let the other person know.
This means if your only form of communication is letters understand it will be tough & they are doing their absolute best (both people).
However, if you have access to your phone then text them when you can and if you aren't able to let them know ahead of time. By this, you are showing them that you are aware you want to try and communicate but are unable to.
"Think of ways to better your communication through this process that you can later use during your relationship for when they come back. It can be a learning process for yourself to learn more about yourself and see what you're able to handle & to learn a new way of appreciation among one another."
Quoted from: A concerned girlfriend of one and a half years who has never experienced this before and finds it all new and unfamiliar territory but knows that it will pay off in the end.
3. Stay strong...
Yes, this isn't going to be easy especially if you are not familiar with it. It will be kinda tough but don't just throw the towel and give up.
Many marines worry their significant other will just end it or cheat on them. They have worries, too, believe it or not. So instead of trying to take the easy way out, come out on the high.
Be strong for the person who is getting deployed but don't suppress your emotions either, go to them when you really need it.
"Stay strong. It will get hard at times especially when you are away from one another but in all reality, the distance helps you grow closer together. It is all worth it in the end."
Quoted from: Caroline Ziegler; a marine wife of nine months as her husband was off for training for months. A portion of their relationship was long distance as well due to her husband being stationed across the county.
4. Distance = closeness
If you're thinking that I am out of my mind, just listen before anything, okay?
By being apart you learn to appreciate each other a lot more when you are together and treasure the time much more.
"The time apart helped us grow and appreciate each other more. I am a very independent person so it didn't affect me as much when he was gone. However, there are some rough days that I did miss him and it was harder in the beginning but I kinda got use to it, it almost became like a routine. It helped me designate 'crying days' that I would give myself to just sit there and listen to sappy sad love longs and just cry. This also brings something exciting for when he would first come him because we would have to relearn how to live with each other which reminded me when we first moved in."
Quoted from: Autumn Haley, marine wife of eight years, (who used to be in the marines herself) that went through her husband being deployed twice.
5. Your deployment is different from others
You can google & listen to ted talks all you want but your deployment is different from others.
Just because one person's deployment is the worse thing ever, doesn't mean it will be the same for you.
You won't know what it feels like or how to cope until you actually go through it, so please don't assume.
Find ways that will help you, whether it may be to stay busy or just write, find something that helps you!
"My husband and I would wait till the specific time we knew we could talk and take turns sharing about our entire day. It's important to take the time out of your day to ask them; even though it may seem simple it really does make a difference when there is a limit on communication. We also found ways that helped us cope individually and together in unison that was special to both of us."
Quoted from: Liz Bradley Aprin, marine wife who experienced two separate deployments and has been with her husband for four years. First deployment of 232 days and the second deployment of 180 days.
6. Be a busy bee!
Got a job? Get two!
Got friends? GO OUT!!!
If you are not a busy bee well you might just become one during this transition phase in your life. By staying busy your mind is preoccupied from what you need to do versus counting down the days.
Instead of staying at home with a bucket of ice cream watching "P.S. I Love You" or "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days" for the 50th time in a row... go out with your girlfriends, pick up a hobby or even an extra shift!
I can personally tell you it will help tremendously and help you see the positives things that are surrounding you.
"This is just a small portion of your life, do not dwell on this & instead focus on the future and what is to come. Keep calm & move on. Time will pass and once it does you'll be united again soon. When you are back together it feels like the honeymoon phase when you first started dating. It will be great."
Quoted from: Alena Pappas, marine wife married of six years, who has handled deployment twice and miniature training events her husband had to attend at different times during their marriage. To this day he is currently still an active military member.
To those who are actively serving, we thank you for your service and the great sacrifice you give daily. To those who have served, thank you for serving. And to the wives or spouses, hang in there it will pay off in the end.