In a world of clutter, dust and grime, cleanliness might as well considered a virtue. I learned the importance of a tidy home before I even learned to walk because my parents, who are typically calm and well-mannered individuals, prided themselves a little too much in keeping the house clean and would transform into Danny-Tanner-on-steroids the minute a chore needed to be completed. My respect for completing household chores in a timely manner was essentially born out of fear and quickly turned into resentment and now I avoid doing chores like most people avoid jury duty: With a combination of excuses, crying and/or apathy.
Though my disdain for housework is complemented nicely by the fact that I thrive in messy environments, I do understand the value in keeping my living space–and my life–clean and in working order. To justify my hatred toward compulsory cleaning, here are the household chores we all love to avoid, in order from least to most annoying:
If you’re cooking for yourself, it can actually be pretty fun because it involves receiving a tangible and edible reward at the end. If you’re cooking for other people, it’s really annoying and should be avoided at all costs. Actually, just pick up your phone and a take-out menu and order something for delivery. What is this? The Dark Ages? America in 1950? No one cooks anymore.
(Photo courtesy of shutterstock.com)
The Swiffer first made an appearance in the cleaning product market in the late 1990s and with it came a personal fascination in this magic item that could make dirt disappear in one swift motion. To my 4-year-old self, the Swiffer essentially operated as a gigantic new toy and, though it towered over me by at least a foot, I loved sliding it over hardwood floors and linoleum tiles and watching dust vanish in its tracks. I don’t own a Swiffer, however, so I avoid Swiffering out of pure convenience and refusal to spend money on one. (But those vacuums that do their job on their own at the push of a button? The second I become independently wealthy, you bet your bottom dollar I’m buying one of those).
(Photo courtesy of google.com/shopping.)
3. Making the bed
Though not as enjoyable as Swiffering but just as easily avoidable, making the bed comes in on the middle of the list particularly because I never actually do it, yet I always feel a pang of guilt in avoiding it. My mornings are spent waking up and staying in bed until the last possible second, throwing on whatever outfit I can manage to find that also sort of matches, sprinting out the door to class, and conveniently “forgetting” to make my bed, only to come home after class frazzled and irritated at the sight of blankets and pillows strewn sloppily about my room. I do make my bed sometimes and, if it is made, it means my life is actually together for once and I am entitled to all the bragging rights of an organized person.
(Photo courtesy of gettyimages.com.)
Laundry is the worst. It involves too much sorting and figuring out with clothes can go in the dryer and which ones need to be hung dry lest they shrink and you can never wear them again. But wearing dirty clothes is pretty disgusting and laundry can’t be avoided unless you can afford to buy an entirely new wardrobe every time you run out of clean clothes. That comment I made about becoming independently wealthy? Right after buying one of those robotic vacuum things, I’m getting enough clothes to avoid ever doing laundry again. Yes, I could hire someone to do my laundry for me, but doing laundry is so irritating, I wouldn’t wish that torture upon anyone.
(Photo courtesy of tidecoupon.com)
1. Unloading the dishwasher
Nothing, my friends, nothing is quite as terrible as unloading the dishwasher. At some point during the Industrial Revolution, some inventor decided to create a contraption that would give housewives more free time to darn the family socks or mend the family curtains or polish the family crest, or whatever it is they did by allowing them to wash multiple dishes at once. But what that inventor didn’t anticipate was just how frustrating it would be to unload and store those dishes once they were clean. I don’t exactly know what it is about having to pick up and put away freshly washed knives and ceramic dishes that irritates me so, but I dread the words, “unload the dishwasher before I get home,” because I know that I will procrastinate until I absolutely can’t anymore and then scramble to put sort the forks from the spoons and the bowls from the plates at the last second. And don’t even get me started on dealing with Tupperware.
(Photo courtesy of 1234rf.com.)
So there they are folks: Household chores from least to most annoying. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “She could’ve spent the time she took writing this list and compiling these images to do every one of these chores and then some.” And you know what? You’re right. But just let me wallow in my laziness and I’ll let you enjoy your clean clothes and spotless kitchen.