Now that this season of "The Bachelorette" has come to an end, I feel it's a good time to officially weigh in on all of the contestants. There were some winners, some losers, and some you probably forgot even existed, but I'm here to evaluate them all.
31. Lee
Let's face it: Lee's the worst. Not only did he only stir up drama in the house for no reason, but he also came across (several times) as racist. He had many opportunities to deny his racism, but never really pulled it off. Honestly, Donald Trump did a better job of convincing America that he's not racist, so yeah, Lee's the worst.
30. Lucas
I feel like this needs no explanation. Whaboom.
29. DeMario
You can't really criticize someone for their past relationships, but you can criticize someone for not making a past relationship fully in the past. No one can really be sure of exactly what happened in DeMario's past relationship, but there's no way he's completely innocent.
28-21. Rob, Mohit, Milton, Michael, Kyle, Jedidiah, Grant, and Blake K.
If you remember any of these people, I salute you; they were all eliminated after the first cocktail party. Better luck next time, guys. Special shout out to Mohit for getting tipsy like 15 minutes into the episode.
20. Iggy
Iggy lasted a lot longer than I thought he would, and he annoyed me for every second of that time. He certainly wasn't the worst person this season, but he always seemed to be involved in whatever drama was going on for no reason.
19-16. Bryce, Brady, Jamey, and Diggy
Another group of guys I definitely forgot about. All of these men left the show early, leaving us with a lot of questions. How is Brady so good looking? Is senior inventory analyst (Diggy's job) even a real thing? Why is Bryce's face a potato with elf ears on it? The world may never know.
15. Fred
Poor Fred never stood a chance. He gave it a really good try, but watching scenes with him and Rachel was just uncomfortable. Maybe try another one of your former camp counselors, Freddy.
14. Josiah
Josiah was probably the cockiest contestant this season. He was incredibly sure of Rachel's feelings for him, not because he and Rachel had any kind of personal relationship, but because he was just that confident that every woman would love him. Didn't work out so well for him.
13. Jonathan
HIS PROFESSION IS LISTED AS TICKLE MONSTER. He seemed to be an OK person--he's even a doctor--but nothing can save you if you give yourself the title "Tickle Monster." Also, he totally has crazy eyes.
12. Kenny
I really wanted to like Kenny; he had a super cute relationship with his daughter and seemed like a pretty good guy. Unfortunately, he got caught up in Lee's drama and wasted valuable time with Rachel. At least he made the right decision by going home when he didn't want to be there anymore.
11-9. Jack, Will, and Anthony
Jack, Will, and Anthony made it really far in this season with us knowing suspiciously little about them. Anthony even had an early one-on-one with Rachel but was basically never heard from again. I always thought of Will as the better-looking version of Eric, which left me really surprised when Eric outlasted Will. And poor Jack, who has possibly the worst official photo of anyone this season.
8. Blake
Blake left the show pretty early, but he drummed his way into my heart in the first episode and maintained his place there because he fearlessly went after Whaboom when everyone was like, "Yeah the guy's weird, but it's fine." Blake was the captain of the S.S. Send Whaboom Home and, like any good captain, he went down with his ship.
7-6. Matt and Adam
Both of these guys were always just hanging out in the background, doing OK on group dates, and not really making or participating in any drama. They were just some chill dudes hanging out at the mansion. Matt gave me some slight dad vibes and Adam always looked like he was just getting over the flu. So Matt, best of luck on "Bachelor in Paradise," and Adam, lots of rest and plenty of fluids.
5. Bryan
Yes, Bryan was technically the winner of this season, but, if I were Bryan, I wouldn't feel super strong about the end of the season. He basically won by forfeit. Throughout the whole season, I was never a huge fan of Bryan; he was too smooth and definitely thought he was the coolest thing to ever grace the face of the Earth. I thought that at some point Rachel would see through it, and, as she said many (many, many) times, "Keep it 100." But congrats on your win Bry, keep an eye out for Peter coming to steal yo girl.
4. Alex
I waited all season for Alex to become a bigger player and it never really happened. He seemed like a pretty cool guy with a really cute mom, but Alex left the show undramatically. I strongly believe that he deserved better--maybe a future Bachelor (*cough* ABC *cough*)???
3. Eric
The official dark horse of this season, Eric slowly snuck his way into the top three. We didn't hear much about him until he was someone towards whom Lee was racist. By hometowns, I was definitely saying that the final four were Dean, Peter, Bryan, and that other guy. But in hometowns, I actually really liked Eric. So really, congratulations Eric, you did far better than what anyone would have speculated.
2. Peter
Peter, poor, sweet Peter. I think we can all agree that Peter should have won this season. Peter was my pick; since the first episode, he fought a good battle. However, the point of the show is that it ends in a proposal. I don't think that he should have proposed when he clearly didn't want to do so, but if you don't want to propose to someone, don't go on "The Bachelorette" in the first place! Basically, Peter should not have waited up until the day before he should (by definition of the show) propose to tell Rachel that he definitely can't when he left that door open the entire time. Really the best thing that could happen now would be for Peter to decide he's ready for marriage and to challenge Bryan to duel for Rachel. In that case, I will be solidly behind you, Peter.
1. Dean
Dean is essentially the cutest human being to have ever existed. Dean went home for really poorly explained reasons at a really bad time. Dean had the kind of transformation that we all wished Peter had had. He started the show closed off and unemotional, but, on his last episode, confessed his love to Rachel (before she coldly sent him home to his berobed and very purple father). Dean's hometown visit was really terrible for him, but brought him and Rachel closer together, something I took as a sign that Dean could actually win. I will never understand why Dean was roseless. Dean, I can't wait to see you on "Bachelor in Paradise!" P.S. Please don't sleep with Corinne.







































