March 30 is World Bipolar Day, a date which is also the birthday of artist Vincent Van Gogh. Based on examination of Van Gogh's life, it is possible he suffered from Bipolar Disorder. The goal of World Bipolar Day is simple: to raise awareness and promote education with regards to Bipolar Disorders in order to render the stigma associated with the disease a thing of the past.
It can feel like waking up on a roller coaster when the illness stirs in the sufferer’s mind, one that was not deliberately or decidedly boarded and comes without brakes and exit signs. The ups can be thrilling—at least for a time—and the downs terrifying, but both ends of the spectrum can be life-threatening.
When I was diagnosed with Bipolar I Disorder—the most extreme of the set of illnesses that create the Bipolar spectrum—it felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. All of the shifts in mood and behavior finally had an explanation, and it was not that I was bad or insane. I was sick and it wasn’t my fault. That relief was short-lived, however, as reality set in. Suddenly, everything came crashing down and I felt the overwhelming burden of shame, guilt and embarrassment. Many perceive individuals diagnosed as bipolar in a negative light and I knew this illness would be present for the rest of my life. I would also most likely be bound to medication forever in order to keep my mood and symptoms in check.
I had been cycling from episode to episode for as long as I could remember, but I was too close to it and my perception was impaired by the disease. That, coupled with the stigma and the misjudgment of symptoms as bad behavior that I felt at fault for, kept me silent and fluctuating between bouts of uncontrollable mania and crippling depression.
In the moment, when you are manic or depressed, you have tunnel vision. That is your reality. You see everything up close and these thoughts and experiences are perceived as unending. It is that perception that often leads to suicide. You cannot see the bigger picture, the shifts in mood and behavior or the irrational nature of some of your thoughts and actions (this is where symptom tracking and charting can be beneficial). When you start to plummet, or scale the mountain out of the depths, your reality becomes distorted. But those with bipolarity do experience level periods as well as ups and downs. Decision making and judgment are not always impaired. It is during this time that embarrassment and guilt often set in.
Some of the common misconceptions regarding a Bipolar Disorder diagnosis feed the public image of these diseases. Many do not even realize there are several kinds of Bipolar Disorders and not everyone experiences their disease in the same way or degree. Bipolar I Disorder is the most widely known and most severe. It is characterized by extreme highs and lows that significantly impair the sufferer's life. Bipolar II Disorder is comprised of cycles that do not escalate as high or low as Bipolar I, with hypomania being a characteristic specific to this type. Cyclothymia is another diagnosis that includes symptoms fitting the Bipolar spectrum, but generally the individual does not experience mania or depression to the degree that those with the other subtypes may endure.
The impulsive behavior associated with mania is often seen as something the sufferer has control of. In reality, it is the result of the impaired judgment the disease causes. Common attributes such as excessive spending and increased substance abuse or sexual activity are actually symptoms of mania and not the individual “acting out.”
The shifts in mood are also beyond the sufferer’s control. While certain triggers—which can range from life experiences and specific settings to caffeine and even prescription medication—can set off a mood cycle, the shifts exist due to a problem with the brain and not the individual.
The next time you hear the term “Bipolar Disorder” or encounter someone who suffers from it, take the time to get to know the person for who they are and educate yourself. Those diagnosed deserve to be seen as individuals with an illness and not the disease itself or the behaviors it can cause. Perhaps in the future the term “bipolar” won’t be used in a derogatory or joking fashion. Perhaps a diagnosis won’t feel like added burden to an already difficult situation and instead serve as an answer to a question and a path to a better life through treatment and knowledge. While the perspective of bipolarity cannot shift in one day, with time and education stigma can become obsolete. Lessening the shame and judgment can result in increased diagnosis and treatment, which saves lives.
World Bipolar Day
International Bipolar Foundation
The International Society for Bipolar Disorders (ISBD)
Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA)
Mood Chart
