I am one of those people who always need to know the "why". Why did you break up with me, why did you say that, why did you stop being friends with me? In other words, I always need closure.

If I don't get this closure, I will obsess and obsess about every aspect of our friendship/relationship, every conversation, every fight, every interaction-because I just need to know why. I don't know why I am like that and a lot of times I really wish I wasn't. Because it sucks. It really sucks when someone just stops talking to you and never explains the rhyme or reason behind it and you can never get answers.

I have this person that I used to be best friends with. In all honesty, it was a completely toxic best-friendship and I am a lot happier now that this person is out of my life. However, the way she ended our friendship still bothers me almost four years later. I can't look at this person without the hurt and anger coming up even though it was so long ago. Why? For someone who is obsessed with the why of everything, I don't know why this one particular friendship meant so much to me. It could be because I grew up with this girl and our lives were very closely intertwined. It could because she was there for my first boyfriend, for my first time going to public school and my first prom. It could be because I tried everything I knew to fix whatever caused her to stop talking to me, or it could be because to this day I still have no idea why we stopped being friends. Whatever the reason behind my extremely unhealthy bitterness, I can't seem to shake it.

I've thought about this old friend a lot this past week. I don't want to live the rest of my life feeling animosity towards someone who I used to care a lot about. I'm glad she's happy with her life and I'm sure that she feels the same way about me-I just can't seem to shake the hurt I feel every time I see her.

So, when I was planning my article this week, I decided that it's time. Its time for me to let go of the anger, the hurt and the bitterness that is only hurting me. Because lets be honest, it really is only hurting me. I'm happy with my life and the amazing people I have in it, and anything that is making me feel so ugly is not worth my energy. So I decided to let it go (not to go all "Frozen" on you). Because at the end of the day I'm responsible for moving on from that hurt. I'm responsible for my own closure and my own feelings so I'm going to forgive this person, even if they never care. And if any of you are harboring bitterness towards someone who hurt you, whether it be an old friend or not, I hope that you will make the decision to forgive them too...if only to stop hurting yourself.

And to my old friend...I'm not writing this to blame you. I have no idea what went through your head back then. I always felt that I was a good friend to you, and everyone knows when I love someone I'll do anything for them. I'm never going to know what it was that caused you to drop me so quickly, but whatever it was, it doesn't matter.

Because I forgive you.