the positives of death

Although Death Brings Pain, Look For The Beauty Too

A death can not only be remembered by the pain we feel but in the positive impact it also has on us too.

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Death has a way of opening our eyes, which is ironic because quite literally, the act of dying closes our eyes forever. But over the past week, I've felt the impact of death, not only on me but within my former dance community.

A couple of days ago, one of my previous, fellow dance teammates passed away. At first, I was completely stunned to the point of not feeling anything at all. You know when you're so shocked that emotion doesn't quite kick in right away? You're left sitting on your futon practically with your mouth agape and no real thoughts going on in your head. You just feel a rush of emotions, each one too complicated to figure out just yet. So you sit there, letting shock overtake your body, and you don't say or do much.

That night, I cried a little when I began to settle down, watched an episode of a TV show, and tried to fall asleep. While I was laying there with my eyes closed, forcing myself to relax, I couldn't help but picture flashbacks of the moments we had shared together, of the times we doubled over in laughter, the ones where we choked on hairspray making sure our hair was perfect before heading out to perform, the ones that were so genuine. So pure.

When I begin to remember those moments, I can't help but think as I look back on myself, "Larissa, stay in the moment. Listen to her laugh. Listen to her cries. Help her through her hard moments and be there for her good. In three years, she will no longer be here." But of course, you never know the future, so those fleeting moments of passing time that are easily overlooked, which also happen to be the most important moments in life, must never be forgotten. They're the moments we as people truly love, admire and live together, even if it's unknowingly.

Life isn't picture perfect. If it was, the 19-year-old girl with a heart of gold would still be here, preparing for college finals and getting ready to dive into a Thanksgiving dinner. She would be preparing her Christmas gift list for Black Friday and talking with her friends about which stores they should all hit together. Sometimes, life just fucking sucks.

As mournful as these past couple of days have been, it has also been equally as beautiful. Through the tears and shock, my former teammates have united in solidarity to remember together, to cry together, and to help together. Girls I haven't talked to in years have been sending texts in a GroupChat, offering condolences and support alike. Years, miles, and milestones may have pulled us apart, but a loss of a beautiful soul has also brought us back together, and that is exactly what she deserves.

The dancer who lit up the stage with her perfect turns and leaps deserves to be remembered and honored for the person she was, and after spending years practicing and performing together, for a while, we knew her best. So even though time may have drifted us apart, her spirit has made us a team again. It's what she would have wanted.

Although it's easy to get caught up in the spiral of sadness, finding your bed more intriguing than anything else and becoming close friends with a tissue box, it's important we look for the beauty. A death can not only be remembered by the pain we feel but in the positive impact it also has on us too.

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.
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You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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Poetry On Odyssey: Depression Isn't Taken Seriously Until You Commit Suicide

According to society, until you commit suicide, your feelings aren't valid.

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"You're only seeking attention." Until you commit suicide.

"You just want everybody to feel sorry for you." Until you commit suicide.

"You're not actually stressed out." Until you commit suicide.

"You don't actually feel that way." Until you commit suicide.

"What do you even have in your life to be depressed about?" Until you commit suicide.

"You're just not trying hard enough to be happy." Until you commit suicide.

"You just like to complain about your problems." Until you commit suicide.

"Depression isn't real." Until you commit suicide.

"Your life can't be that hard." Until you commit suicide.

"You have too many good things in your life to feel that way." Until you commit suicide.

"You're just trying to be negative." Until you commit suicide.

"You're just psycho." Until you commit suicide.

"You don't know what struggling really feels like." Until you commit suicide.

"The world doesn't revolve around you." Until you commit suicide.

"It's not like it's the end of the world." Until you commit suicide.

"You're not actually sad." Until you commit suicide.


No one takes your depression seriously, until...you commit suicide.


If this article hits home, it's okay to speak up. Seek help if you need it, you are not alone.

National Suicide Prevention Line: 1-800-273-8255

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