Dear Future Husband,

You may have found out by now, that I am a very awkward individual. You made me nervous when we first met, and you probably still make me nervous. I'm sure that our first date was less than graceful. I tried to be funny and I only made a fool of myself. My face probably turned so red that you could have mistaken me for an actual tomato, but you laughed with me anyways, to make me feel better. You made me laugh, and I can guarantee that after the date was over, my cheekbones were about ready to fall off because of how much you made smile. You continued to go out with me, despite the fact, that every time I got awkward, I avoided you and when we did talk, I would say the most unintelligent things. Sometimes it may not have even been coherent sentences; it could have been just weird noises. But you love me because I'm so awkward.

You may have realized that I am opinionated, yet passionate. I get very passionate about diversity, women, and reconciliation. My face gets really hot because things like this make me angry. I want to fix the world, but find that I have no power to do anything. But you look at me and you tell me that I'm wrong. You encourage me to continue to be passionate about the things that I love and the problems in the world that make me angry. You smile at me because you understand me. I told you that I must be a crazy person and you told me yes. I am indeed a crazy person. But you love me anyways. You love me because I am passionate about something.

You may have noticed that I am a bit stubborn. And when I say that now, you're probably laughing at me because the reality is is that I'm not a bit stubborn; I'm extremely stubborn. But I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for opening my eyes to different perspectives. I am so stuck on my own way, but you weren't afraid to grab me by the shoulders and tell me that there are other options. That I need to open my eyes to the different possibilities. You weren't afraid to tell me I was wrong. That I was stubborn and that I needed to listen to other people. You weren't afraid to tell me what I didn't want to hear. To make me mad. You weren't afraid to make me a better person. You love me because despite the fact that I am stubborn, I still value your opinion.

You may have recognized that I have made many mistakes throughout our relationship and in my life. And I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you, for not being the wife that I should have been and that I so desperately wanted to be for you. I say stupid things when I'm mad and I probably didn't trust you. I was afraid to be vulnerable with you and I didn't trust you enough to believe that you were in this relationship for the long haul. I'm sorry for not trusting you and knowing that you would be there for me no matter what.

And thank you. Thank you for sticking with me despite all my faults. Thank you for loving me despite all my quirks and flaws. Thank you for loving me wholly and unconditionally.

I love you and cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.