Dear Queer: A Letter From A Devout Catholic
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Dear Queer: A Letter From A Devout Catholic

It's about time.

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Dear Queer: A Letter From A Devout Catholic

Dear Queer,

I hope you don’t mind if I call you that. I was afraid that maybe it would offend you, but my LGBTQ friend assured me that it wouldn’t. I want to start off by saying congratulations on the verdict. It may be hard for you to imagine, but I was smiling all day long. Today is Sunday, and as a Christian, I will be attending mass this evening, as I have done for almost every Sunday in the last 20 years of my existence. But, this is a special Sunday. For the first time in a long time, I was able to see that love could really win, and today, that is what I am most thankful for. I don’t know if you currently perceive me to be your enemy, but I hope that isn’t the case. I’m writing to you now in aspiration that one day, despite those crazy Christians running around, you’ll be able to see that people like me do exist, and that we love you very much.


I was raised Roman Catholic in a very religious home. That being said, I was expected to attend church every Sunday, give thanks before every meal, and above all, try my very best to love others, just as Jesus had done. Now, I would consider myself to be well versed in The Bible, capable of reciting passages when expected to. So, I would like to share one with you, one that I learned when I was very young. Corinthians 13:13 states, “But now faith, hope, love, abide by these three; but the greatest of these is love.” To reiterate, the greatest of these is love. The concept of love is crucial to Catholicism, and I've stood by it for as long as I can remember. I don’t care if it’s a significant other, a friend, a family member, or a stranger; God calls us to love everyone, from each sinner to saint. So, I would just really like to say that I am sorry. I’m sorry that you were not always given the admiration and respect that you so deserved. I’m sorry that those around you, people who knew better, simply forgot how to love.

I hope you don’t believe the things they scream at you during protests. I hope you don’t believe that you’re “going to hell,” and I hope you don’t believe that you’re a sinner. You’re right, there is such thing as straight privilege in America, but no person or organized religion has the right to ever make you feel lesser. Priests, as you may know, are highly respected, and individuals look to them for faith and guidance. However, I assure you they are far from pure. A priest made my mother cry once, you know. That’s what a sin looks like, denying someone both love and forgiveness. What you have done isn’t even comparable, because frankly, what you have done is not a sin. In fact, it is of great virtue.

I feel as if I somehow failed you, but the reality is that many people have failed you. Mark 12:30-31 states, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Take a moment to ask yourself, did most of the Christians you’ve ever interacted with seem to love you as they loved themselves? Sadly, I am going to guess not. Please know, this is no fault of yours. Again, many people have failed you, and many individuals of my faith have sinned in the process. It appalls me that even the most religious of people have gotten so caught up in social acceptance and traditions that they somehow lost the Lord’s message of love. It is so abundantly clear that love is what God called us to do above all else, yet I can still see so much hate. To be honest with you, I’m ashamed. I’m ashamed to be affiliated with groups of people who are willing to both ostracize and emotionally torture their own brothers and sisters. I don’t mind if you’re not religiously affiliated, but if you believe in any God, never doubt that He loves you exactly as you are, and just as much as everyone else. Don't let a single person tell you otherwise.

I want to leave you with something that I’m sure you’ve heard before, but I would like you to keep believing in: Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil; but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I don’t need to ask you, because I know that there are people who have not come close to demonstrating this love towards you. There are people that have dishonored you, there are people that are angry with you, and there are certainly those who will deny you forgiveness (even when you have nothing to apologize for). Nonetheless, I find it important that you remember to dismiss all those who try and “cure” something as pure as a gay marriage. Love is love. I do not care to condemn homosexuality due to a vague reference written so very long ago. I do not believe that this is a choice, and I do not believe that God makes mistakes. He wants you here, He wants you to love whomever it is that you love, and He most definitely wants you to be happy. I think that we, as Christians, need you; I need you, because I feel lost in my own faith. The perseverance and acceptance that I've seen thus far brings nothing but joy to my heart, and I cannot wait for you to experience all of the wonderful things that marriage promises us. Today is certainly a Sunday to celebrate, because in the eyes of the Lord, and finally the eyes of the law, we are all equal.

All my love,

Your Catholic Ally

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