Mom,
College is tough.
I know that you say that you are proud of me but I don't think that I’m proud of myself. I find myself constantly stressed and worried about my studies. You have always told me to do my best but sometimes I think I'm doing the worst that I possibly can. It's like my hands are tied behind my back and I am hanging by my teeth. The same teeth that are falling out due to the copious amounts of caffeine and sugar keeping me awake.
Sometimes, I struggle to keep my grades up and sometimes I have victories but my victories are merely leaping over puddles, only getting one shoe wet. Some classes I dread and some I love but, never as much as I love you, Mom.
Mom, I am so bad at math and I wish I could call you every 15 minutes for help with all of my equations and life quarrels but the phone lines stay empty because I am trying my hardest to be an adult.
Mom, college isnt like grade school, you cant wait for me to get off of the bus anymore.I drive myself around and around and aroud and around….
You cant sit me down at the kitchen table for an afternoon snack and help me with my homework or the bullies. The only bullies in college are the assignments, sometimes they pile up on me and tell me im worthless.
You told me to make friends but mom, I am afraid to make friends. Sometimes i eat lunch alone and i am oh so alone. The empty chair in front of me holds a mirror so that i can have the sillouhette of someone that i will never look in the eye because she will steal my soul and she is a reflection of my deepest darkest fears. she is me. I am her…
Mom, I miss you like i miss due dates, inevitably.
Mom, college is tough.