By the title, this might seem vindictive, but that isn't the case. This is not to get you back or make you regret the choices you've made, but rather a way for me to reflect the inner strength I have developed because of those choices.

Because of said choice, I never knew what it was like to be cared for. I have taken care of other my entire life. I took care of my siblings, friends, grandparents, etc. I do not know what it would mean for me to be taken care of, instead I have learned to rely on myself and to be independent. While I had no childhood, it made the transition to adulthood much easier.

You absence also taught me the importance of staying strong. I learned that I cannot break down when I want to. Sometimes, I have to wait until the right time to allow myself to show emotions brought up as the result of an event. I have to stay strong for myself and other people as well. Sometimes I want to burst into tears, but know that I cannot until I am alone.

Because of what you chose to do, I had to learn to be self-reliant. If I had not learned how to cook and clean at a young age my siblings and I would'nt have had a chance at eating during the nights that you simply could not cook. We would have grown up in a dirty home and would not have been able to keep the adults in our lives semi-happy if the house were not clean. I now know how to organize when bills are due to make sure they are paid on time and nothing gets cut off. I don't have to worry about being stuck in the dark due to a light not being paid. Growing up I knew how to get myself and my siblings up and ready for school. Because of that, I did not experience "the struggle" of making sure I was up and ready to leave for classes in college.

This was not a way to punish or manipulate you. I am now able to see the inner strength that I sometimes struggle to see. Through writing this, I am better able to see myself as an overcomer, a thriver. Not just a survivor. I know that I am going to be successful. I will be able to take care of myself.

I made it through high-school, and college successfuly. I have begun work on my master's and have successfully completed the first year, and I will complete it without you. Ultimately I know that God has a plan for me that it will be seen to completion with or without your help and support. I know this without a doubt, because I know that even though you did not know how to treat me like a daughter, I am His daughter and nothing will ever change that.

So while it sucks at times thinking about the fact that I had to do so many things without you, I know that God has been with me this whole time and will continue to do so. He will be cheering me on regardless of whether you are there or not because I am His daughter first.