Hey me in twelve months, it's me.
I'm currently in this weird transition lull from one part of *our* life that I didn't plan, to the next part that I'm just now really planning. You're probably chuckling at the thought of this moment in your life as you bathe in diamonds and drink pinot grigio (fingers crossed). I know we've gotten by on winging things and the directions (or opposition) of others...but it's starting to not work anymore. So I hope you've got a hold on planning, making decisions, and taking calculated risks. And if you don't, just make sure what you're doing isn't expensive. If it is, call Dad.
I've learned a lot of new things about myself and the world around me at 21. I'm a few weeks shy of 22, so you're a few weeks shy of no one liking you, *badum tss.* But in all honesty, keep being open to learning, no matter how much it sucks. Keep exploring what being black, queer, feminist, and whatever else you find yourself identifying with means. I'd like to believe you're not afraid of getting to know yourself better at this point.
By now you're doing one of three things, and I'm a tad bit afraid of them all. You're in graduate school (in California?) doing your ~thang~ and your loans are deferred. Or you got rejected by all three schools, and you're back in Jersey working an unappealing job and trying to reapply. But maybe, just maybe, you found a will and a way to get back to Norway. You're out in Oslo, chatting it up with people at some cool job and reading the Aftenposten during middag. It's weird that I can write these scenarios down, but I can't really see them as happening. To be honest, I'd be thrilled with the fact you're still alive and loved.
You've got a couple of pretty solid skills listed on your resume and LinkedIn. Make sure you've updated them. Oh, and change your profile picture on all of your social media accounts - you don't have to wait a year for a really good picture to show up. Nobody really cares about it anyways. I'm also pretty sure no one cares if you like and share things. Be social on social media, it's your space!
I hear making friends as an adult is a lot harder, which is great for you because you prefer not to make more friends. But if you're going to be that way, make sure the friends you already have know that you appreciate them and think of them often. Let people like and love you. Also, let your family know you love them by visiting more often. Get over yourself and just go home.
I hope you're in therapy because it's good for you and you like it there.
And hey, if you're reading this, that means you survived a year of #45 and the Republican Administration. They and your 'fellow' Americans managed not to kill or imprison you. So that a plus. I hope you're more vocal and active about protecting and promoting the better parts of people and life.
Take as many naps as you need and please dye your hair cotton candy pink. You deserve to.
I don't know what your future looks like and having hope is weird, but I really think it'll be it is cool. You always have a hand in making it that way, remember that.
