Dear Jason,
Every year on February 23rd, our mother tears herself apart thinking about losing you to SIDS on that day in 1988. I hope she knows that your passing was out of her control. Although I never had the chance to meet you, I feel like I know you. Our mother's tears bring me to tears as well. In the pictures of you that I have seen, I see so much of our mother in you.
Our mother did not think that she would be able to have any more children after SIDS took you away. However, her faith made it possible for her to have not only one, but two more babies. Nine years after losing you, our mother was blessed with our brother Joseph. As I look at baby pictures of the two of you, I see a strong resemblance. Two years after Joe was born, I came along. Mom told me that I shot out like a baseball. She monitored our brother and me a little extra as we slept. She put shoes on our feet with matching outfits every day when we were only infants. She has done everything in her power to make us as happy, healthy, and motivated as possible. Now, we are both in college beginning our journey of leading successful lives.
I always catch myself wondering about you.
What would you look like now? Where would you live? What would your job be? Would we look alike? Would I be an aunt? My life would be so much different if I had a 31-year-old brother.
I know that up in Heaven, you are watching over our brother and me. I know you were at my high school graduation, and I know you will be at my wedding, so please do not feel guilty for not being there in person. It makes me incredibly sad that you did not live to experience these milestones in your own life, but I know that with a mother like ours, your two months of life were priceless. I just want you to know that you are not forgotten and that in your short life, you touched the lives of many people, including those who had never met you in person. I love you, big brother. I know that you are up there, wishing that you could give me advice, protect me from getting my heart broken by boys, and hug me when you are proud of me.
Always in my heart,
Hannah Noel
