Dear Cerebral Palsy,
I do not hate you, I do not regret you. In fact, I feel blessed to have been able to grow with you. To be quite honest, I did not feel any of this love and acceptance until recently, I'm sorry. You see, throughout most of my life, I have had what felt like a hole in my heart. An emptiness that I assumed was due to me not fitting in among my peers or in society. In actuality, this emptiness was created by me. It wasn't that I longed for acceptance from my peers or society, but I longed for it in myself. It was as if I created my own ocean of despair. I kept setting high expectations for myself each day only to be dragged back down because my body wasn't capable of doing the things I wanted to do. I wanted to do things the “normal” way and when I couldn't, I felt myself slip back down into that ocean. I wanted to get into a car and go somewhere, but I couldn’t. It was as if I was fighting a constant battle with myself each day.
Sure, I still have days where I'm off and days where I need to have a good cry, but who doesn't? All that matters is that I do not forget who I am and how hard I worked to get to where I am today. Because of you, I learned how to do the impossible. I learned about simple acts of kindness and how touching they can be. Although I am still a "worrywart" when it comes to you, I do not let you stop me or take control of my life. I learned to just go with the flow.
By the way, don't you think it's kind of funny how we both still argue with each other? Body against mind. You limit me and I accept the challenge. It's almost as if I'm figuring out a puzzle about my own body each day. Don't get me wrong; sometimes I love your challenges and sometimes I absolutely hate them--especially when you are the only one who gets to pick when you control my muscles and I can't stop you and that is really frustrating, I'm not going to lie.
SEE ALSO: My Closest Friend's Cerebral Palsy Shaped Our Relationship
To be honest, the puzzles you give me are rather difficult. The thing with being disabled is that it can be extremely tough at times. But what can I say? Life happens. And I take it and accept it. I figure out that puzzle every day, because I know I have to. Because of you, I no longer find myself drowning; if anything, I find myself fighting back and striving for a happier me.
Thank you, Cerebral Palsy, for all your challenges and obstacles on a regular basis, you've found strength & courage in me that I didn't even know existed.
Yours Sincerely,
A Fellow CP warrior 
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